I feel like there is this false perception that the closer your relationship with Christ, the less you will have anxious or depressing thoughts. However, with chronic anxiety and depression, those thoughts are always there. They will not go away. The truth, however, is that God tells us to cast our burdens on him (Psalm 55:22.) In doing this, we can let go of what makes us anxious.
But what happens when you don't have anything to be anxious about? Again, with chronic anxiety, sometimes those feelings are just there. There is no hiding them or ignoring them. There is nothing that causes it. It's as if your brain says, "Hey there, yeah, you. Hey so listen… It's Tuesday, so we're gunna be anxious about that." This happens more than often with anxiety. Still, we can find rest when we say, "Okay God, I don't know why, but I'm anxious, and I need your help." He's so great at listening and comforting.
I'm one of those "modern Christians" who has the bible verse tattooed on my wrist to remind me of how blessed I am. The verse that I see every day is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." This is the verse that I wake up and tell myself every morning. Because, let's be real, mornings and late nights are the hardest. But I find comfort in the fact that Christ has already planned out my future. He knows exactly where I will be tomorrow, a year from now, and even 25 years from now. He's already there. I just have to catch up to him.
In reality, when you're in a real funk, it doesn't matter how much you pray or recite verse after verse. You are feeling empty and alone. There is nothing that can comfort you in these moments. However, this is the mindset that the enemy thrives on.
I was always told that depression and anxiety was just a demon. I personally do not believe that. Chronic anxiety and depression are a result of chemical imbalances in the brain that cause low serotonin levels. Now, I say "chronic" because being nervous and anxious because of a big exam coming up doesn't necessarily mean that you have a chemical imbalance. However, any kind of depression is caused by a low level of serotonin. Growing up I always heard that this feeling should just be cast out and ignored. But sometimes that is just not possible. Sometimes we need to feel that emptiness and void. But we cannot dwell in it.
While I do not believe that depression and anxiety are necessarily a demon in themselves, I do believe it is the enemy's playground. That is to say, when we dwell in those low places for too long, it opens the door for the enemy to further bring us down. We feel degraded, so we are more likely to listen to degrading thoughts.
So, how do we get through these feelings? First, we must allow ourselves to feel the pain. If we do not acknowledge the pain and emptiness we are feeling, we will never get through it. God gave us emotions for a reason. They are supposed to be felt. They are not, however, supposed to be sulked in and complacent in our minds.
Second, we have to tell God—and sometimes someone else— about it. Yes, talk about it. Our society in the past has told us to "never show negative emotions." But God made us to show those emotions. He wants us to share how we feel. Telling him about it can bring some peace. Even being angry with God about it is okay. Jesus showed anger when the temple was turned into a place for financial gain instead of worship (Matthew 21:12-17.) Anger is okay. Anger with Christ is okay. But, again, we cannot stay in that place. We have to express that emotion to Christ, then understand that regardless of how we feel at this moment, God has already worked it for our better.
Talking to someone else is important too. This is the hardest step for me, personally. My family was never good at showing emotion. However, holding in these negative feelings will only make them worse in the end. Talking to someone, even just to let out those emotions, is critical in order to move past this emotional state. It is possible that we can gain some great advice from a peer that has been through these same feelings as well.
Lastly, we have to get up and keep moving forward. We have to remind ourselves that Christ is with us. He made us to feel these emotions, and he is going to help us through this. If we choose to stay complacent in this life, we can never grow spiritually or emotionally. At some point, we have to put on our big girl—or guy— undies and say, "Okay, I have felt this, I have cried out to God, and It is time to keep pushing forward."
I am no psychological expert, and I never will claim to be. I only got tired of being told the lie of the enemy. I did my research, both on depression and anxiety and in the word of God. This was what I found was helpful to me. In reality, I wrote this to help myself understand that I am not alone. I needed to get these feelings out on paper. I needed to see these steps out of my head. I read this often to remind myself that I cannot stay complacent. Though it is sometimes it feels like an impossible feat, I have to get up and move forward. I will never fulfill the purpose God has planned for me if I stay in this place of self-loathing and helplessness.
So if you are feeling depressed, anxious or alone, know that that is okay. There are so many people who feel exactly the same way. Reach out to Christ and other friends or someone who you look up too. Talk about your feelings. Do what you have to do to move forward and work through this pain and grief; it will end and you will do mighty works in God's name.