Dear Camp Newman,

My friends referred to you as the black hole that annually took me away during the summer for eight weeks. Tucked into what used to be a prosperous forest in Northern California, Porter Creek had a special place in my heart, you were my home away from home. Each summer, you forced me to dig into and fill my personal toolbox of leadership skills. Thank you for that.

Last October you gave me the perfect opportunity to be a staff member for Fall Family Camp. I found myself unnaturally fixated on your nature and beauty that weekend. I was insistent on taking a plethora of pictures and committed myself to revisiting some of your most beautiful and memorable sites.

The black hole that my friends constantly referred to you as garnered a new sentiment just 10 hours after I left as the Tubbs Fire torched the majority of your sacred haven in Santa Rosa. I helplessly sat watching the news as the unruly fire ravaged massive areas surrounding you—I knew that the buildings where I slept, ate, learned, taught and prayed summer after summer were under attack too. I took note of your new colors. The red outermost shade of the flames perfectly reflected the anger I felt when I first found out about the tragedy. The innermost blue of the flame symbolized the true sadness I felt and still feel at my core. The loss of your safe and sacred space created a sense of uneasiness about your future and made me question the safety that I once felt at 4088 Porter Creek Road.

You taught me a unique lesson; fires have the ability to destroy, transform and create. Yes, in the beginning, the fires destroyed. Few things remained, one being the crisp white Jewish star affixed to your mountaintop. That surviving Star Of David proved that similarly to our ancestors, we would endure and transform.

Within three months, your new location had been secured. California State Maritime Academy would be home to hundreds of staff members and campers. The unsettled and mournful #NewmanStrong community was amplified and became empowered.

As your yearlong staff meticulously planned out the details of our new space, I attempted to navigate the idea of not being at your Santa Rosa location. While my pride for our resilience was undeniable, I was also hesitant and fearful. You see, I never suspected that camp would, or even could, be anywhere besides 4088 Porter Creek Road.

Despite my uncertainty, I wrapped up my senior year of high school and headed to Cal Maritime (aka Newman By The Bay). Campers arrived with plenty of authentic excitement and adjusted almost instantaneously. Their resilience was palpable; because of this, my juvenile self grew as my perspective transformed quickly. I am proud and happy to report that our Cal Maritime location was a pretty incredible success—we rose from the ashes and created camp. It certainly was not always seamless or easy. Some days were filled with tears and others with smiles. At the end of nine weeks, I had topped off my toolbox with different skills as I learned to lead in the aftermath of a tragedy.

I think about you often. As I scroll through my pictures, I face moments of joy and sadness. This week marks one year since the fires hit. During this difficult period, our tenacious community has made great strides with the help of involved and supportive individuals. Thank you for teaching me that losing something does not necessarily mean you have to let go.