I am always making mistakes and learning new things about myself. Recently I found that I had been saying three little words that made all of my arguments invalid. I think it is important to look at yourself and constantly try to improve yourself. Sometimes you may find that you are doing or saying something that you don't even realize is messing things up.

I am not a confrontational person. I don't want to make people upset if I don't have to. I want everyone to be able to live their life, even if I don't agree with it, but sometimes I do have problems with people and there are times when I need to confront the person who is upsetting me. I don't like to do this, but there are times when it really is necessary. I have gotten better at this and I have learned to confront the issue head on, instead of talking to someone else. The problem was when I would talk to the person bothering me I would always end the sentence with "but it's okay".

For example there was one instance where I had an issue with a friend and I told her why I was upset. I laid out all my issues with what she was doing, plain and simple. I watched as her face fell in sadness. She hadn't even realized what she was doing to me. I immediately felt horrible for making her feel bad and I reassured her by saying "it's okay though, it's fine. I don't care." I I didn't realize that by saying this I was completely invalidating my own issue with the situation. I had built up all this courage to actually talk to the person about the issue, but by trying to not upset someone I was not letting them know that I was actually fixing the problem in any way.

I didn't know that I was doing this until a few weeks ago. I just thought that people around me didn't really care to listen to what I had to say when I brought up issues with them. I think I was trying to say that I don't care how they are living their life, but I do care if they are hurting me. I want to bring that to their attention without shaming them for how they live.