BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving Is Lost
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving Is Lost

Stop being un-American, and start marketing Thanksgiving.

69
BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving Is Lost
https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2017/11/06/636455948890348144-281634602_o-THANKSGIVING-DINNER-facebook.jpg

BREAKING NEWS: Thanksgiving has been lost.

The aisles have overlooked it, the ads have bypassed it, and the calendar has all but erased it from record. I don't understand. Why is is that society has collectively decided to just forget about Thanksgiving? Why do we jump from promoting Halloween to promoting Christmas? What has Thanksgiving done to deserve the shaft like that?

When I walk into Wal-Mart the day after Halloween and see Christmas trees and wrapping paper everywhere, I'm like:

I mean, really, Thanksgiving is great. Food. Family. Political arguments over the dinner table. Older family members asking what you're doing with your life. What's not to love?

Seriously, though. Why is Thanksgiving so overlooked and under-marketed? I know I'm the first in line for my new cornucopia centerpiece every year. And the hanging gourds are a must-have. I think Thanksgiving should be marketed as a marriage between a dress-up holiday, much like Halloween, and a gift-giving holiday like Christmas. Forget about actually celebrating being thankful and focus on what gift you're receiving from your pilgrim-costume-clad nana. Stop thanking, start soliciting gifts.

I think it's a sham that Thanksgiving is basically the only American holiday untouched by corporate greed and manufactured demand. I mean, how dare we let Thanksgiving actually be about being thankful? That's just so un-American .

We're getting close, though. The idea of being thankful is slowly, but surely, being replaced with the notion that we have to consume, and consume, and consume food until we're literally so sick that we have to go to sleep. So we are almost there. We have almost hit Halloween-level consumption promotion. Well done, America.


Now, if only we could convince the children that shoveling sixty-five Brussels sprouts down their throats is the same as sixty-five Kit Kats, we'd be set for maximum marketability.

Really, I think it is all the kids' faults. Thanksgiving is just too mature for them. And if you can't market to kids, you can't market to anyone. Christmas isn't successful because the adults find joy in spoiling the actual hell out of their children. Christmas is successful because we've convinced ourselves that joy is impossible unless we spoil our children. What better way to spoil a five-year old than with yams and cranberry sauce, amiright?

Seriously, I'm tired of Thanksgiving being so overlooked. It's terrible that we haven't found a way to suck American pockets dry by manufacturing some useless stuff everyone has to have in order to enjoy a holiday and pad the wallets of corporate monkeys to lazy to groom it out of us themselves.

So, here's to making Thanksgiving the next super-market decoration sensation. And Merry Christmas!


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

150980

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1616676

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1011290
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

922674
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

602049
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

386254
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

500432

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments