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11 Ways Negative Body Image Could Be Impacting Your Sex Life

When you're not feeling sexy, you lose your sex drive.

Jennifer Kustanovich

Sep 13, 2022

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

6189

11 Ways Negative Body Image Could Be Impacting Your Sex Life

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Your body image has a huge impact on your sex life — let's be real, intimacy includes your body.

It's normal to have your bad days when you're just not feeling it, but if the bad days are stacking up to tower the confident days, maybe it's time to start working on how you perceive yourself. Carrying shame around with you all day will crawl its way into the bedroom and kill your sex life. But don't worry, there are always ways to revive it. And, it starts with self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-feel goods.

Repeat this to yourself to start boosting your sex life: I am strong, I am capable, I am desirable.

Here are 11 ways your negative body image has found its way to the bedroom.

1. You're only having sex with the lights off

This may not seem like a big deal, but if you're hiding in the dark, it's time to turn on the lights – maybe start with a candle or one lamp in the corner. Before you know it, you'll be rolling in the sheets mid-day.

2. You can't get out of your head

And, if you can't get out of your head, you won't be able to feel the pleasure and reach your O.

3. There is unintended tension in the room

I don't mean the hot and bothered kind of tension. It's not your fault that you are struggling with your self-image, but it's time to get help and learn how to accept your beautiful self the way you are.

4. You limit new sex positions

You freak out when your partner requests a new position because you don't want them seeing your body in that way or you don't want to experience how your body feels in that position. Unfortunately, I hear this all the time, but it's OK to allow yourself to find your naughty side and have fun. You are more than your body and your partner is ready to try new experiences with you.

5. You're distracted and lose interest quickly

Your head is not in the game.

6. You won't want to get naked

Ever had sex with your shirt, pants, bra, socks, or anything still on? Unless you're having a quickie in the bathroom, take it off!

7. You're not fully enjoying the moment

You are not having sex solely for someone else. Intimacy is for you, too, and you're allowed to feel pleasure and enjoy the moment – you deserve it.

8. You're prone to sexual risk-taking

Think sex without a condom, but, remember, safe sex is fun sex. Period.

9. You're not engaged and responding to your partner

Communication, listening, and responding is a huge part of sexual behaviors. Yet, if your brain can't focus on the erotic passion, you won't be able to effectively respond and feel the rhythm.

10. You don't feel sexy and don't want to have sex

When you're not feeling sexy, you lose your sex drive. It's normal to have some days where you're feeling seductive and ready to jump on your partner and other days where you just want to snuggle, but if these days are solely dependent on your self-image, there may be more to the story.

11. You only have sex under the covers

It gets real hot real quick.

If you are struggling with your body image, reach out to a therapist today.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

11 Ways Negative Body Image Could Be Impacting Your Sex Life

When you're not feeling sexy, you lose your sex drive.

Repeat this to yourself to start boosting your sex life: I am strong, I am capable, I am desirable.

1. You're only having sex with the lights off

2. You can't get out of your head

3. There is unintended tension in the room

4. You limit new sex positions

5. You're distracted and lose interest quickly

6. You won't want to get naked

7. You're not fully enjoying the moment

9. You're not engaged and responding to your partner

10. You don't feel sexy and don't want to have sex

11. You only have sex under the covers

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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