Sometimes Staying In Their Life Is Better Than Nothing

Sometimes Staying In Their Life Is Better Than Nothing

Even though we may not be together anymore that does not mean I don't want to be involved in your life.


You like each other, you go on dates, you develop feelings, and then one of you calls it off. After things end you get kind of sad because you built this habit of talking to them every day and then all of a sudden you guys aren't talking anymore. Trust me, that is a perfectly normal feeling especially within the dating world now.

Dating in the 21st century is hard already and to say that dating now is confusing is definitely an understatement. Even though we date around there is no doubt that we all yearn for that special relationship. Yeah, dating is all fun and games until we get feelings and then hear the saying "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "I think we should just be friends."

Being friends with someone after getting feelings and hearing them say that they just want to be friends is pretty hard. You start talking to them every single day, you build this routine with this person, and then out of the blue things end. Part of you thinks that letting go and moving on is the best thing but sometimes you want to cling on to that person not because you have hope that you guys will end up together; but because you don't want to lose a friend.

I'm the type of person that has a hard time letting friends go after things end. If we were able to be friends before we gained feelings then why can't we still be friends if things don't work out right? Well, wrong. Being friends with someone after they just want to be friends is harder than you think.

I remember when I had feelings for someone and things not working out. Of course, I was upset and I knew that not being friends with them was the right call. But, when I saw them day by day living their life and accomplishing so much; it was hard for me personally do not want to be friends and celebrate the little victories with them.

At the end of the day, I reached out and even though we are not a thing we are still affirming each other and we are such good friends. There may not be romantic feelings involved but I can't imagine my life without his friendship. Sometimes overcoming your pride and accepting that rejection and staying in each other's life is better than not being in each other's life at all.

Just because you guys aren't a thing anymore that does not mean that you guys have to cut each other out of your life and stop supporting each other. Now, if that person is toxic then without a doubt let them go and don't look back. But if you guys ended things very maturely then why not try and be friends?

It's hard to not be friends with someone and still see them living their life day by day. It's hard to not root for them and cheer them on when they aren't in your life. Sometimes you just have to swallow up your feelings and simply be friends with them because we can all use that special someone to care for us and affirm us and our little victories.

So if you were thinking about that certain someone that you aren't friends anymore while reading this; reach out to them. Overcome that fear of being hurt because sometimes being a little bit in their life and having them as your friend is better than not having them in your life at all.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.


Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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