Obviously the best place to poop is your own room but sometimes that is just not possible. For some reason everyone gets self conscious when someone walks in to a bathroom when you're pooping. So, I've compiled a list of the best (or maybe safest) places to poop on campus, just for you.
1. 4th Floor FAC
There are no classrooms up there so it’s usually pretty empty. And I mean who doesn’t want to poop next to the Presidents office? Makes ya feel important ya know.
2. The Old Gym
Yeah, its probably haunted and its definitely a little creepy but it’s safe. No one’s ever up there, it’s a pretty scenic place to poop.
It may feel like Antarctica in there but it'll do. But you have to go to the last stall.
4. 1st Floor Scho
This is the only single person bathroom I’d recommend. There’s hardly any foot traffic and the door actually locks.
5. The Caf
There are so many stalls and no one wants to stay in the caf longer than necessary so its usually pretty clear.
To conclude this ridiculous article, let me leave you with this last piece of advice: NEVER POOP IN THE LIBRARY OR WESTERMAN...you will regret it.
Now that you have this insider knowledge, use it wisely. Do not abuse your knowledge pooping places... it is a gift!