This week I haven't been very productive and I blame my roommate for introducing me to Gorl memes. I have been obsessively searching them for the past three days and think they are all great. So, since all it's can think about lately, I am publishing a list of some of my favorite Gorls. Enjoy!
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Wether its shower thoughts or ideas we had while we are high, I bet we have all thought of some weird things at one point or another. Here is 50 weird thoughts from the internet and from me.
1. Food Vs Drink
In the english language you can drink a drink but you don't food a food.
- me and apparently quite a few other people on the internet
2. Living Room
Can you die in a living room? Has anyone ever died in a living room? It would be the most ironic death to have. If somebody dies in a living room, is it still a living room?
3. Multi universe Theory
If the multi universe theory is true, is there a universe where it isn't?
If a fly losses its wings is it now a walk?
5. Lightning McQueen
Would Lightning McQueen get care insurance or life insurance?
What would happen if Pinocchio said his nose was going to grow?
If it rains on a Sunday does that mean that its now Rainday?
When you buy a bigger bed you have more bed room but less bedroom.
9. Blind Dreams
Can a blind person see their dreams?
If her outfit was supposed to disappear at midnight, why did her shoe not go away too? Also if Cinderella's shoes fit perfectly to her feet, why did one fall off in the first place?
If you moonwalk on the moon, are you just walking?
12. Cookies & Bacon
Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
13. Deaf Thoughts
If someone is born deaf, what language do they think in? Do they think in written words and pictures? Do they think in sign language?
If you were to smoke weed at sea, does that make it seaweed?
Would Jesus Christ say "oh my God" or "oh my dad"?
If you were in a race by your self, would you finish in first or last?
Why do we drive in parkways and park in driveways?
If you sweat in a sweater, does that make you the sweater?
When Mars becomes colonized, will anyone born there be considered a Martian?
What if the dog brings the toy, ball, or stick back to you just because they think you enjoy throwing it and want to make you happy?
If Tomatoes are really a fruit, is ketchup a jelly/jam?
If humans are mostly water, does that mean that Earth is mostly human?
23. I'm Sorry
I'm sorry and I apologize have the exact same meaning unless you are at a funeral.
Why is a building called a building if its already built?
25. Apple Houses
If Apple were to make houses, would the houses have Windows?
Assuming the bible and Christianity is real, God created us but who created God? Did he create himself and if so how? Did somebody else create him and if so, does that mean that there really is more than one God but hes too egotistical to acknowledge this since he wants all attention on himself? And who would of made the God that made God? Did the big bang perhaps make God instead? If the big bang made God, is that a good enough thought / explanation to how the world was created, that would make both scientists and religious people happy and thus bringing upon peace between the two very different ways of thinking?
Also what if God stays in Heaven and doesn't interact with us as much any more because he actually fears what he has created?
- Me and a quite a few other people on the internet
27. Age Old Question
If it was possible to eat all of yourself would you become twice as big or would you disappear?
- Pretty much everyone
28. Dora The Explorer
If Dora is an explorer, why does she only visit mapped areas.
If you replace the w with a t in what, where, when, you have an answer.
What would of happened if Hitler would of got accepted into the Vienna art school? Would Hitler ever have got into politics at all? Would he still have written mein kampf or became such a powerful leader? Would there still have been Jew hatred and concentration camps? Would Germany have even been in world war 2? Would we be studying Adolf Hitler as a great artist with a charismatic personality instead of a powerful dictator that many will agree is a horrible person?
31. Holy Shit
If you take a shit at church does that make it a holy shit?
I the future, will modern humans ever be dug up and displayed at a museum like we did to dinosaur fossils and to the cavemen? Will there ever be a human version of Jurassic Park in which humans have the dino roles and the human roles will be replaced by what ever is the future's newest highest position life form and will this life form think that this jurassic park is something they came up with all their own?
In Japan, radiation makes giant monsters like Godzilla but in America, radiation creates superheros
34. Is Life Really Unfair?
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?
History classes are only going to get longer and more difficult as time goes on.
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.
37. Time is Money
If time is money, is an ATM a time machine?
Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
If two vegans or vegetarians argue, is it still considered beef?
40. Nine Months
If babies are in the womb for 9 months, why aren't they considered 9 months old when they are born?
Deliveries by ships are cargo and deliveries by car are shipments.
42. Home Work
If a teacher gives a homeless kid homework, is it still considered homework?
They say actions speak louder than words but isn't speaking an action?
44. Speed Run
Would every Sonic play though be considered a speed run?
45. Cheese Cake
Cheese cake is secretly a pie.
- my brother Chris, some of his friends, and me.
Clapping is repeatedly hitting yourself because you like something.
47. Grammar Nazi
The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar nazi.
When ever you dig up a rock or some dirt, that could be the first time it has seen the sun in millions of years.
What if every country has ninjas and we only know about Japan's ninjas because they are so bad at being ninjas?
Every day, someone on Earth takes the biggest poop in the whole world for that day. That person could even be you!
If you haven't worked in retail, count your blessings. This summer will mark my third official retail job, and let's just say I am less than excited to return to the dreaded retail employee lifestyle. There are so many cons that we have to put up with on the daily, is it even worth the minimum wage salary?
1. Waking up every weekday morning before your shift and contemplating whether the money is worth it
"Is dragging myself out of bed worth my cheque of $500 before taxes?"
3. Having to fake a smile for the entirety of your shift.
And if that isn't bad enough, having your amazing customers remind you to "smile" while you're internally just trying not to lose your shit.
4. Being stuck with the lazy coworkers on your shift
I don't have time to do my job and also teach you how to do yours. Next.
5. And the worst one of all, dealing with the most absurd questions from your customers
No, I won't give you something for free because you have been shopping here for years. I can give you a store credit card, though.
6. Even worse? Having to listen to the weirdest stories from your customers
I once had a customer narrate her entire infidelity and divorce story to me, and I awkwardly had to sympathize while just trying to print her papers. At one point she reached over the register and tried hugging me. Not a fun time.
7. Being yelled at during rush times when you're trying your best
Yes, lady, I understand the line is long. But you're going to have to wait on it just like everyone else. I'm not going to roll out a special expedited red carpet for you.
8. Explaining something to a customer and receiving the "Can I talk to your manager?" bit every time
Everything I am telling you was taught to me by my, surprise, manager! But I guess the arguing is worth it when we laugh about the whole thing in the break room later.
9. Constantly having to clean up mysterious messes
Maybe it's because my parents raised me better, but whenever I go shopping I try to refrain from making a mess. Customers I have encountered, however, seem to enjoy messing up everything they come in contact with.
10. I'm sorry that your coupon is expired
I really am. But I guarantee you, no matter how many times I scan your coupon, it will not work.
11. Customers assuming that you know every damn thing
I once had a customer ask me if I knew who the CEO of my employer was, and when I said no, he told me I needed to do "my research." Yes, thank you, I'll be researching all right — on how to get the heck out of this place.
12. Not being informed of how much math goes into the job
All the math I have learned, all the way up to Calculus 2, magically disappears from my mind when I'm at the register and need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. Suddenly I don't know how many nickels go in to a dollar.
13. When customers try getting in despite the very large "CLOSED" sign and locked doors
I promise you, no matter how many times you yank at the door and yell at me to open it, I'm not. It's kind of entertaining watching you go at it, though.
P.S. We are required to log off all cash registers immediately after the set closing time, so there is no point of even trying to get in. You can't buy anything.
14. Having to stay over your designated shift
Once I was forced to do a 12-hour shift without being informed of prior because one of my coworkers decided to call out "sick." She also ended up getting fired the following week, but I'mma sip my tea.
15. Talking crap about your workplace with your favorite coworkers
You'll be surprised as to how quickly people can bond over annoying customers and shitty bathrooms. Having great coworkers honestly makes working a billion times more tolerable.
16. The time we dream about all day and look forward to impatiently: when your shift is finally over
Once I clock out and my uniform is off, I am also mentally clocked the fuck out. Whatever chaos is happening is not my problem. Good luck to those clocking in, though.
If you work in retail, kudos to you, because honestly we're really forced to deal with the worst shit on a daily basis, there is no escape. And if you haven't worked in retail, perhaps this helps you gain insight on our nightmarish lives — so if you're mean to your cashiers, cut it out.