To My Dearest Old Pal,
After reading "To The Best Friend Who Decided We Aren't Friends Anymore," I could not help but think of you. We were inseparable. You knew absolutely everything about me, and I knew a whole lot about you. We spent almost every single day together. We even worked together for two years. From young friends in high school, our friendship grew into something so wonderful as we moved on to college.
Remember those random nights when we had nothing to do, and we just drove around talking about the world and all the troubles going on in our personal lives? What about the night we went for a two-hour walk around the neighborhood; when I opened up to you about my entire past? My life was great with you in it. If I needed someone, you were there. If I was upset, you put a smile on my face. I was so lucky to have you.
During the summer before my senior year of college, I was really struggling with something, and you knew all about it. You gave me advice, and you listened. You were there for me. I knew and treated you and your family as if they were my own. I was so naïve. You see, you, along with the rest of your group of friends, had done this to other people before when they made choices you did not necessarily agree with. Instead of growing with them, you pushed them completely out of your lives.
Our entire group message was dedicated to screenshotting and making fun of people we all went to high school with. The sad thing is, I was once part of this and did not realize how horrible we were. Something I learned about you over time is that you were so judgmental and did not care to accept that people change. Don't worry, you were featured in my first article, "Why You Should Thank The Person Who Says You've Changed."
I am not saying I am completely innocent. In some ways, I did change, but overall, I am still the same person I was before this whole mess occurred. But the pain you caused me was undeniably the worst I have ever experienced. You called me your best friend forever-- you lied. When I ended the problem I was struggling with, you were there for me. Little did I know, it would not be for long. Ending that relationship was the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with, until of course, you sent me this text message, just a few weeks later:
You left. You left without an explanation. You abandoned me in my darkest of times. Was I really only worth a singular text message? It was not only you, it was the eight others, as well, but yours will forever stick with me. You ended our almost decade long friendship because I was trying to finally do something for myself. Do you realize what you did to me? I had no one.
You see, old pal, you taught me how it is impossible to trust people. You taught me that forever really means nothing. You showed me that someone who was such a great part of my life can easily get up and walk away without a second glance. You gave me an ice-cold heart. I struggled with making friends and I continue to struggle with opening up to people, because of you. My bubbly personality and positive outlook on life was destroyed. You ruined me for a good six months. I pushed people away, I wore all black, I blasted screamo (just ask my poor roommate). When I was home from school, I sat in my room every night, completely alone, and saw you all hanging out on my Snapchat, and I cried. How was I that easy to let go of?
It was in February, the day of your 22nd birthday, that I realized I was over you. I sent you a happy birthday text. The first text I had sent you since October. You surprisingly responded, "thanks." After eight years, our friendship turned into "thanks." We used to send paragraphs on each other's birthday explaining how grateful we were for one another.
I drew a picture for my art therapy class that day and I shared it in front of my class, dedicating it to you.
From that day forward, I accepted what had happened and moved on. Our broken friendship opened the door to a much greater one with amazing people. I became much more mature and learned to be on my own. I found my newest hobby was painting; perfect for releasing frustration. I was forced to meet new people and accept myself for who I was. I had to learn to be alone. I grew because of you. That horrible experience you put me through, changed my life forever. I was going down a horrible road after you abandoned me, but looking back I am so thankful you did. I learned from the mistake you were and I became a stronger, much more independent, young woman.
Thank you for being my best friend for never. Without you, I would not be where I am today. And like I said before in my previous article, thank you for being just another learning experience.
Better off without you