13. "The problem with your sink is that I have no idea how to fix it." | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

17 Quotes From 'Big Mouth' That Will Make You Blamo In Your Pants

It's what America wants.

112574
'Big Mouth'

In This Article:

'Big Mouth' is the best show that describes the experiences of seventh graders going through puberty. Not only is it accurate (minus all the monsters popping up and talking pillows), it is one of the funniest shows I have seen in a long time. There are so many great quotes from the show that show why season two had 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but here are some of my favorites.

1. "You really want to get your tongue underneath hers, too. Yeah, you want to get in there like a Claritin to just dissolve."

I mean, what better kissing advice can there be?

2. "Hey man, I got a medical emergency so I gotta bounce. Jack off twice and page me in the morning."

A teenage boy's dream homework assignment.

3. "It's not for me, but people will like it. It's Starbucks. It's what America wants."

When people post their whole life on social media...

4. "You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, 'Dinner is served.'"

The only way to ask for oral. No head-pushing!

5. "The mons pubis? Oh, it's the welcome mat at the pleasure palace."

Learned something new about my body.

6. "They're saying I'm a serial killer, but I'm just a chronic masturbater."

Just a small misunderstanding.

7. "I live balls out and I give zero fucks."

Jay, stop quoting your dad's law commericals.

8. "Love dies, let's bury the body together."

Guy Bilzerian plays both sides of the coin.

9. "All I wanted was a blow job at a high school party, is that such a crime?"

Yeah, actually, if you do that. But out of context, it sounds funny.

10. "Listen to me! You want to shoplift lipstick, you want to listen to Lana Del Rey on repeat while you cut up all your t-shirts. You want to scream at your mother and then laugh at her tears!"

We all had our rebellious phase. Luckily Lana outlasted it all.

11. "Why do you smell so good?" "Because I don't use deodorant and I only take bhubble bayths"

The only way to stay fresh. Self-care at its finest.

12. "I'm what's known in the medical community as a man baby."

Everyone's favorite coach Steve.

13. "The problem with your sink is that I have no idea how to fix it."

That may not be the only problem with it.

14. "I'm going to do sex on a lady, and a lady is going to do sex on me."

Possibly the best in-show song ever.

15. "Let's rub fronts."

Putting pressure on the mons pubis to really set the mood.

16. "Eleanor Roosevelt once said, quote, 'Do one thing every day that scares you,' closed quote, and I think this red bra scares both of us."

Using Eleanor Roosevelt to convince your mom to buy a nicer bra is a nice touch.

17. “Show her you like her. Kick her in the shins."

The worst advice from your favorite hormone monster. Just kidding, Connie is the best.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

6 Unrealistic Expectations Society Has For Young Adults

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

2230
boy in adult clothes

Well over four feet tall and 100 pounds in weight, many of us "young adults" of the world still consider ourselves children. Big, working, college-attending, beer-drinking children. We may live on our own, know how to cook noodles, and occasionally use a planner, but don't be fooled; the youthful tendencies that reside within us still make their way into our daily lives. From choosing to stay up until 3:00 a.m. playing video games on a school night to going out in 30 degree weather without a coat, we still make decisions that our parents and grandparents would shake their heads at in disappointment. So why are we expected to know exactly how to be a wise, professional, sensible adult? It's not that we're irresponsible (for the most part, anyway). It's that we are young, inexperienced, and still have the sought-after, enthusiastic mentality that we can do and be whatever we want, which has not yet been tarnished by the reality of the world. These are just a few of the unrealistic expectations that society has for young adults.

Keep Reading...Show less
pizza
Fandango

There are a lot of foods in this world, but there is only one dish that stands above the rest: Pizza. If you're close to me or at least know who I am, then you know that I'm totally obsessed with pizza. It's one of my favorite things to eat and I will NEVER turn down a slice, even if it doesn't have my favorite toppings. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not thinking about pizza. I even sleep with a pizza pillow every night! There are many reasons why pizza stands above all other foods, and here are just a couple reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
sex and the city
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

Girls Night In
Milk + Blush

We've all been there - you've been saying since Tuesday after French that this weekend is the weekend. You're finally going to break out those new heels and actually put on eyeliner on and make this Friday night be one for the memory books! That is, of course, until Girls Night Out turned into...Girls Night In.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

What Is Your Zodiac GIF?

Characteristics of the astrological signs, explained through GIFS.

787
zodiac
Wordpress

Whether you believe astrology is a legitimate "science" or not, we have all found ourselves looking at our horoscopes from time to time. The 12 astrological signs all fall under one of four elements: air, water, earth, or fire. Air signs are rational, social, and love to communicate with others. Water signs are are emotional, intuitive, and mysterious. Fire signs tend to be passionate, creative, and adventurous. Earth signs are conservative, realistic, and loyal.

Each sign is determined by the relative positions of celestial bodies to ourselves at our moment of birth, which is said to influence our personalities. Find your zodiac GIF below, based on the traits and characteristics provided by each sign.

***Disclaimer: GIFS are meant to be lighthearted and are based on descriptions of signs from http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments