Valentine's Day has just passed, so that means it is discounted candy season! While you are wandering around the store debating how to ruin your diet, consider reading this list before you make a big mistake buying some nasty chocolate that you will regret spending your hard-earned dollars on. Here are the top twelve most common chocolate candies ranked from worst to best:
12. Almond Joy
Almond Joy consists of 90% nasty coconut filling with one or two measly almonds. Its dignity is saved with a thin layer of milk chocolate that only slightly masks the coconut. Does anyone even like these "chocolate" bars? They are an abomination to chocolate-kind and should be kept locked up far away so no more innocent souls will lose their taste buds ever again.
11. York Peppermint Pattie
These patties are not that high on the list due to their bitter outer chocolate shell and fake processed sugar filling. The texture of the filling resembles sugary toothpaste, and for once I am glad a chocolate bar does not have a thicker shell because the chocolate is too flavorless and bitter. No one goes out of their way to eat a York Peppermint Pattie, so you should not either.
10. 3 Musketeers
Although the 3 Musketeers bar is a lot tastier than an Almond Joy, it does not have enough spark to make someone willingly purchase it at the store, hence the absence of this candy bar from some small convenience stores. This chocolate candy is just made up of plain chocolate-whipped filling coated with milk chocolate. It is too plain and not satisfactory enough to quench the hunger pangs.
9. Milky Way
The Milky Way is a step up from the 3 Musketeers. It is essentially its cousin with an addition of caramel in the interior. The mix of caramel and whipped chocolate is a nice match, but once again, it is only satisfactory compared to other brands of chocolate.
8. Twix
Everyone loves cookies, caramel, and chocolate, which is why Twix lands itself higher up on the list. Inside a Twix is a shortbread cookie base combined with caramel. This power trio works together to create a tasty treat that all people can enjoy.
7. Hershey's
This candy bar is the most basic of them all. When people think chocolate, they think Hershey's. If it went to a high school, it would be that one basic popular girl named Sarah who had daddy's money and all the time in the world to run for Class President, be the cheer captain, and play 3 instruments in the marching band while running track on the side. No one is ever let down by a Hershey's, but it can get kind of tiring after a while.
6. Snickers
Peanuts, caramel and milk chocolate...the perfect combination for a non-allergenic person. Snickers has the right amount of chewy and crunchy, as well as the right amount of sweet and nutty. Just like the commercial portrays, a Snickers bar can cure even the rainiest of days. However, beware of the extremely sweet taste. Too many snickers can lead to a massive sugar rush and an upset stomach.
5. m&m's
Like a Hershey's bar, m&m's are one of the reliable familiar candies. Everyone knows what they can expect from an m&m, and their needs are met. These bite-sized niblets are perfect for a snack, and they help you measure (or ignore) portion size.
4. Mini m&m's
Good things come in small packages, and mini m&m's prove this phrase to be prevailing once again. Everyone knows that mini m&m's are better than regular m&m's...it's a scientific fact. Just look how happy this lady is!
3. Kit Kat
The wonderful thing about Kit Kats is that there are so many different ways to eat them. Either you break them in half and eat them one stick at a time, or you just bite into them headfirst like a savage. If you are a part of the lizard people like Kourtney Kardashian, you may even nibble the outer exterior chocolate shell and then nibble on the wafer leftovers.
2. Dove
Doves are the symbol of love, and everyone loves Dove chocolate. It is not too creamy and not too hard. Also, you cannot beat the cliche fortune cookie messages found on the inside of the wrappers. There are a variety of Dove flavors, and it will be one of the best $3 you have ever spent.
1. Lindt Truffles
The word "truffles" make it seem like you are sitting in an English garden eating away with a cup of tea in your hand (pinkie out, obviously). This image is suprisingly accurate. Lindt truffles come in a cute little bag, wrapped neatly in brightly colored elegant foil. You will feel luxurious for about five minutes until you realize you have broken your no-chocolate Lent promises. Nethertheless, you will continue eating them until they disappear within five minutes. Remember kids, always buy two bags of Lindt truffles when you are at the super market.
