We’ve all heard the saying “big things come in small packages” but maybe in a different context but it totally fits with this conversation right? It sucks being the short one in the friend group, like hello share some of the extraterrestrial height and an overly long torso that God blessed you with to your vertically challenged friend.
Though, we do have some perks like our outfits ALWAYS looks 10x better than others, it doesn’t completely make up for all the cons.
1. Taking pictures is such a hassle
Either my friend has to bend down so low that her neck becomes non-existent or I have to literally stand on my tiptoes like I’m auditioning for the Black Swan for over 3omins while we attempt to get the perfect angle.
I’m literally breaking into sweats thinking about it. To all the tall friends out there reading this: Invest in flats immediately, or get a footjob.
2. Everyone else is called “hot” and you’re “cute”
Sweetie, “cute” is for Juicy Couture sweatsuits and Chanel sunglasses, not me. Being called cute is just as bad as being called “shorty.” I don't want to be “cute” I WANT TO BE HOT. I want to be 5’11 and Kendall Jenner but instead, I'm Kylie Jenner’s baby, Stormie Webster. I’ve just come to turns with it, and I converted the meaning “cute” to “cuter than your present, and way cuter than your future.”
3. Always getting carded after your friends have walked straight into the bar, even when you're the oldest.
Sadly, this will be my struggle throughout my entire life. I’m actually the oldest out all of my friends but I will continue to get carded the most.
Try sneak buying a drink at the bars, the bouncers will automatically find you like a mouse in a maze and snatch your $8 whiskey sour that you worked so hard to get while your friends laugh at you and sip their drinks. Life isn’t fair, and neither is throwing my drink away.
4. I’m always put in the middle
If I had a dollar for every time I was put in the middle of the back seat, I would probably stop my misery of college and drop out now. The most awkward moment is when your friend is picking guys up from the bar and because you’re so little, she sits you in the middle of the back seat with them. #ihatemylife #whymelord
5. Flats are never an option
Okay, honestly who wears flats? I mean yeah if you’re a social worker but if you’re a college student “flats” are nonexistent and that actually sounds like an insult. All the girls wear here are OTBT wedges and other heels so my life is completely over.
Words of wisdom: INVEST IN FLATS OR BEFRIEND ME.
TTYL
