Being Selfish Is OK, Especially In College

When I moved to college, it was harder than I expected to say goodbye to my friends and my hometown. While I do visit, it still hasn't really hit in that I won't live in that place with those people ever again. If I'm being honest, I don't really miss it and I don't feel bad about that at all.

Moving away has made me really happy. It's easier to breathe because I didn't have any expectations to live up to for once in my life. I met my best friends and I can't wait to have them in my future and have that support system for the rest of my life.

But, it didn't come without its challenges.

I did escape my past, but not completely. I still have my best friends from home that I love more than anything, but I still came to college with a lot of baggage and I was holding onto and entertaining people that weren't worth my time. I was still in the mindset that the opinions of those in my hometown matter.

They don't.

When I came to college, I worked really hard to talk to everybody. Old friends, teachers and coworkers were at the top of my priority list. I wanted everyone to know I still cared and was thinking about them.

I've really only ever known how to love people in one way and that was by doing everything I could to let them know I love them. I would go out of my way for everyone no matter what they did for me. The people I was close to were on the top of my priority list always, and that wasn't always the healthiest thing.

I struggled with letting go of a lot of things. I was still texting people every day and sending out Snapchat streaks, even if they didn't say anything just to make sure I stayed in contact with people. Constant contact was the one thing that I could offer people. I could drop everything to be by peoples' sides, but that's not what they were doing for me.

One day, I just stopped responding.

I stopped reaching out, and I stopped responding to some people completely. Immediately, I felt so much better.

I didn't realize how much time and energy I spent on people and things from my past until I stopped spending time and energy on them completely. I don't mean to be that person, but I started living in the present and focusing on the people and things that were right in front of me, and life got so much better because of it.

I was already close to my college friends, but we got even closer. Even better, I still have the same relationships with the people from home that really matter. I don't talk to them every day, but that didn't change anything.

As for the people I don't talk to or see ever, I'm honestly OK with it. I had to learn that not everyone deserves a place in my life, no matter how much I wish I could please everybody. Sometimes, people just don't add anything to your life.

I had to learn to be selfish. It really is OK to do things that benefit yourself. If others have problems with it, you really don't need them in your life. Sometimes, you have to worry about yourself first, and you shouldn't feel sorry about it.