I'm Not Rude I Have Anxiety- An Open Letter to Literally Everyone | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
popular

I'm Not Rude I Have Anxiety- An Open Letter to Literally Everyone

I don't make eye contact, I don't speak when spoken to, I don't wave or say hi when I see people I know, and I rarely start conversations.

941
I'm Not Rude I Have Anxiety- An Open Letter to Literally Everyone

I don't make eye contact, I don't speak when spoken to, I don't wave or say hi when I see people I know, and I rarely start conversations.

It's not I'm rude, dislike you or do not want to do all of those things.

It is because eye contact makes me feel uncomfortable. I never think that people are speaking to me.

I doubt that you will wave or smile back, and I don't like talking to people because I'm afraid I will say the wrong thing and people will think I'm stupid or mean.

I grew up in a high school in a very small town. I knew every single person in my school, their siblings, their parents, who they were friends with, and had probably spoken to each of them at some point in time.

I had friends that I could see on a daily basis, ones that went out with me on weekends and helped me through the hard times of high school, ones that forced me out of my comfort zone and helped me achieve NHS Treasurer, Class Secretary, Student Council, Yearbook Editor in the school, and was heavily involved in my community.

Everyone knew me in some way and said hello or waved whenever they saw me around town. For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of getting out, moving into a dorm and living on my own. Living in a city where I can get pizza delivered, walk to stores and exploring something brand new to me.

I had problems at times with anxiety, but I never knew just how bad it could get until I moved away from everything and everyone I knew, to a new environment and a seemingly different world.

Since moving to college, my anxiety has just become worse. I find myself unable to leave my dorm, sometimes even to eat. I don't like going anywhere on campus because no matter what, I feel like I'm being watched and judged.

I have yet to make any friends besides my roommate who, bless her soul, has to put up with me A LOT. I've joined clubs and tried to get out of my comfort zone, but doing this has just pushed me further in.

I see people that I met at freshman orientation going to parties, making more friends than I would know what to do with. As time went on, not knowing anyone and not having any friends was beginning to take a toll on my mental health. I cried every day and hated school. I miss home and go back every chance I have.

I call my mom constantly, text my brother just to annoy him, ask my dad political questions trying to get him on a rant so I could have someone to talk to.

I'm working on the management of it all, in the only ways I know how. So if I don't wave to you, I'm sorry.

But just know I'm trying.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

5991
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less
kid
Janko Ferlic
Do as I say, not as I do.

Your eyes widen in horror as you stare at your phone. Beads of sweat begin to saturate your palm as your fingers tremble in fear. The illuminated screen reads, "Missed Call: Mom."

Growing up with strict parents, you learn that a few things go unsaid. Manners are everything. Never talk back. Do as you're told without question. Most importantly, you develop a system and catch on to these quirks that strict parents have so that you can play their game and do what you want.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
tv.com

"Friends" maybe didn’t have everything right or realistic all the time, but they did have enough episodes to create countless reaction GIFs and enough awesomeness to create, well, the legacy they did. Something else that is timeless, a little rough, but memorable? Living away from the comforts of home. Whether you have an apartment, a dorm, your first house, or some sort of residence that is not the house you grew up in, I’m sure you can relate to most of these!

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments