"Where are you from?"

"I'm from _____________"

"No, where are you really from?"

I've had that exchange more times than I can count, and without a doubt, my response surprises people, I am an enigma wrapped in coarse hair, brown skin, and a Hispanic name. I don't look like what I am, and frankly what I am is a mix of so many things it would be impossible to tell without a genetic DNA test.

All of my life I've dealt with the ups and downs of this reality. There are amazing and absolutely wonderful things that include: an obnoxious and sprawling family full of love, more fantastic food than you can shake a stick at, and a whirlwind of cultural touchstones and experiences.

Unfortunately, there is more than its own downside and I'm sure anyone in my situation can attest to that, there is a greater sense of being alone that comes with this, of not fitting anywhere. All my life that's been my battle, I'm visibly not white, but I'm not Spanish enough for the other Hispanic kids, not Indian enough for the other Indians, and not African enough to connect with the few people around me with a similar heritage. It leaves you in a weird and uncomfortable position and that is something you grow used to.

There is a fish out of water feeling, a feeling of "where do I belong" in a world that tries to sort us into easily identifiable groups, especially by the color of our skin or the texture of our hair or where we're from. Frankly, it sucks. That feeling of being lost can be avoided, you can learn how to be comfortable in your skin, how to take the range of experiences you've been given and turn them into yourself.

It's about knowing who you are and embracing your past, it is about finding that sense of belonging in a family you create and the one that loves you, leaning into the people who care and foraging on. You don't have to check someone else's boxes as long as you check your own.

So, look around, look at the food that only your mom cooks, the music in another language your dad plays, the stories and the history and the family that brought you here, look at it and embrace it.

You are a uniquely special person as cliche as that is, and you can live like one, it's okay not to fit into racial, ethnic, or cultural boxes.

It is okay.

So live your life the way you want, eat the food nobody else can pronounce, sing the song only you know the words to, pick out your hair, embrace where you're from, and who you are and live.

Don't fit into a box, instead just break the mold.