My Life As A Self Proclaimed Ambivert Has Resulted In My Personal Growth and Happiness

My Life As A Self Proclaimed Ambivert Has Resulted In My Personal Growth and Happiness

In different situations, I had learned to act differently and it became exhausting.


Think you look pretty today? I bet your mirror begs to differ. This happens to be one of the many witty comments I say to my kind, supportive friends on a daily basis. Why? Being witty is one of the few ways I know to put an instant smile on someone's face, no matter the kind of day they have had. It was also my way of expressing my jovial nature. But I was not always like this.

I grew up as an only child in a secluded neighborhood for the majority of my childhood. My parents would often be too busy with work to engage with me, and this eventually transformed me into a very shy child.

In first grade, I was the most silent kid in my class. Opening my mouth and speaking up was a rarity. I had an irrational fear of speaking to strange people, so the easiest solution, from my point of view, was to stay quiet no matter who spoke to me. Do not get me wrong, I was a hyper, overeager child back then but only at home around my parents. At school, my tight-lipped alter ego took a hold of the reigns. Then I realized that when I did not speak, people failed to notice me.

I remember there was also another girl named Riley in my class who was my polar opposite; she laughed loudly, cracked jokes every minute and could make anyone like her within a few minutes with her natural charm. I observed the way she could break through stone-like expressions and create large smiles that reflected throughout the room. I then realized that I no longer wanted to maintain my facade and wanted to appear to be as good-natured as Riley.

My transformation from shy little girl to boisterous adolescent took a large amount of time. I had to crawl out of the shell that had been stuck to my back for all of elementary school. I forced myself to make small talk with others and even do what I thought to be the impossible: tell a joke. I remember that no one laughed at my first pathetic attempt, but I continued to pester my friends with my pitiful humor until I could see them laugh. Today, they groan in feigned annoyance, but I know they appreciate my light-hearted digs.

Eventually, things started to look my way. My peers started to get past my tough exterior and understand me well, and I eventually fell on their radar. In fifth grade, I was even voted "Best Journalist," an indication that I had finally distinguished myself in a way that I had not before.

Today, I am happy to say that I have achieved a healthy balance when it comes to my personality. I regularly spend quality times with my good friends, but other times I am content to just curl up with a book and a cup of tea. You could find me loud, laughing and yelling when I am excited or quietly listening to music during one of my tranquil moments. Instead of being just yin or just yang, I was both.

Every once in awhile, I can feel my old inhibitions, my old state of mind bubble back up to the surface and force me to say silent amid a sea of people, but pushing those feelings back has gotten easier with time. Now, I can confidently walk into the room, look each person in the eye and express how I feel when I want to.

My journey to becoming an ambivert was finally complete, and I'm better of for it.

Popular Right Now

You Are NOT Enough

We will never be enough, but God is always more than enough.


Society and even the church seem to constantly encourage us with the saying "You are enough," and their intentions behind this statement are totally innocent. Something about this phrase has always bothered me, though, but I never understood why. In a sermon I heard one Wednesday night a week or so ago, the verses Proverbs 30:7-9 were used, and these verses stood out to me in a big way.

Proverbs 30:7-9

7 "Two things I ask of you, Lord;
do not refuse me before I die:
8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, 'Who is the Lord?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

The speaker was specifically focusing on verses 7-8, but the Holy Spirit kept drawing me to verse 9, even days and weeks after. So I decided to dig into it. This verse focuses on Agur (the speaker in the passage) and his tendency to sin. When he asked God to provide "only [his] daily bread," and then when he continued on to speak about the specific sins he was afraid of committing, Agur was completely and wholly surrendering his struggles with temptation and sin to God, because Agur knew he couldn't do it on his own.

Aren't we all like Agur? Because we are human, we mess up all the time and fall into sin more than we would like to admit, and many times because of this, we fall into guilt and shame. This is because, on our own, we aren't enough. If we were enough on our own, we wouldn't sin. If we were enough on our own, we would be able to save ourselves. If we were enough on our own, we wouldn't need God. But none of those statements are true, are they? In fact, it is the exact opposite because God is enough, he calls us out of sin. Because God is enough, He sent Jesus to save us from our sin. Because God is enough, He is with us in every situation because we call to Him.

How do we know that we aren't enough? Because no one is!

Every human sins, even great heroes of faith. David, one of the most well-known biblical figures: the one who killed Goliath and one of the ancestors of Jesus Christ, said in Psalm 51:5--

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

The beauty in realizing that you aren't enough on your own is that you don't have to be! Never in the Bible does God call us to be "enough!" He never expected us to be enough because it is impossible. God does call us to depend on Him, though. This is because God is ultimately more than enough. When we depend on God to help us keep away from sin and put in the work necessary to keep away from sin, it will be much easier. We will never be enough, but if we continuously search for our identity in worldly things and not Christ, we will be upset when we realize that we are not enough. Guess what, though, when we find our identity in what Christ says about us, we will find peace and hope because just like 2 Corinthians 12:9 says:

9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

God is the only one who is enough. When we depend on God for everything we will begin to see that HE is enough, and that's all we need.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Disrespectful Nature Of My Generation Needs To Stop

Why choosing phone games over a Holocaust survivor was my breaking point.


While many students that attended Holocaust survivor Hershel Greenblat's talk were rightfully attentive, I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a few outlier students tapping away on their phones. They were minute movements, but inappropriate nonetheless.

Immediately I became infuriated. How, I thought, fuming, did my generation become so blithely unaware to the point where we could not proffer basic respect to a survivor of one of the most horrific events in human history?

Perhaps the students were just texting their parents, telling them that the event would run a bit long. 10 minutes later, my eyes diverted from Greenblat back to the students. They were still on their phones. This time, I could see the screens being held horizontally—indicating a game or a show was being played. I wanted to get up, smack the distractions out of their hands, and ask them why they thought what they were doing was more important than a Holocaust speaker.

I will not waste any more time writing about the disrespectful few. Because they could not give Greenblat the time of their day, I will not give them mine. Instead, I want to focus on a massive trend my generation has mistakenly indulged ourselves in.

The Greenblat incident is only an example of this phenomenon I find so confusing. From young, it was instilled in me, probably via Chinese tradition, that elders should be respected. It is a title only revoked when unacceptable behavior allows it to be, and is otherwise maintained. I understand that not everybody comes from a background where respect is automatically granted to people. And I see that side of the story.

Why does age automatically warrant respect? It is the fact that they have made it this far, and have interesting stories to tell. There are exceptions, perhaps more than there are inclusions.

But this fact can be determined by the simple act of offering an elderly person your seat on public transportation. Sure, it can be for their health, but within that simple act is a meaningful sacrifice for somebody who has experienced more than you.

Age aside, at Greenblat's talk, majority of the disrespect shown might not have been agist. Instead, it could have been the behavior students just there for the check-in check-out extra credit that multiple classes and clubs were offering. While my teachers who advertised the event stressed the importance of attendance not just for the academic boost, but for the experience, I knew that some of the more distracted students there must have been those selfish, ignorant, solely academic driven cockalorums.

I stay hopeful because majority of my classmates were attentive. We knew to put aside our Chromebooks, regardless of note-taking, and simply listen to what Greenblat had to offer.

It would be wrong to label my generation as entitled— that's a misnomer for the generation before. We are still wavering between the line of automatic respect and earned respect, but we need to set a line for people whom we know the stories of. Especially a Holocaust survivor.

Related Content

Facebook Comments