I don't know how to approach the subject of stepfamilies, even after six years of being in one. I was in fifth grade when my father decided that he wanted to get married and start a new beautiful life. Unfortunately, I wasn't informed that he was going to get married until after they actually got their nikkah (religious marriage contract). I was furious. Like the steam coming out of my nose type rage. So much so that I didn't even want to see my dad. Besides the fact that I always begged for brothers and an extra sister I refused to have "step" siblings or a "step" mom. I hated the title. I hated the implication.
It meant that there was no hope of my mom and dad getting back together again. It meant that my dad had to love more people and give them his attention. It meant I had to deal with a woman who was trying to steal someone I loved and shake up everything I thought was normal. It meant that all the aunties would give me pity and constantly ask me how much I liked my "step" family.
I felt justified for my hate because movies like Cinderella and some of my friends impassively emboldened my stubbornness to accept the change. I refused to even go to their wedding. I gave my dad and his new wife a hard time.
I know that there are millions of kids who have done or would do the same thing. But to them, I say don't. Don't do what I did because it will not make you a better person. Hate and rage only take a person so far. What you may think is the worst scenario in your life may, in fact, turn out to be the best.
At the time I didn't understand how this situation could provide any benefit for anyone. In reality, I missed out so much. The truth is I regret staying mad.
Because it turns out that fast-forwarding six years ahead having a "step" family was the best thing in my life. I love them as if they were with me since birth. I swear I wouldn't be the same person without them in my life.
They opened up my eyes to a whole new world. They taught me what real love and sacrifice are. My brothers are my role models, who showed me who I wanted to be like, and my sister is literally someone who I trust so much. I even have a new brother and sister now. Alhamdulillah (all praise is due to God alone) I now have three brothers and four sisters.
I still don't like to use the title "step" or "half", but for a different reason. I don't see a distinction between "stepfamily" and those related to me by blood. I regret every time I insulted them or was being rude towards them. They are one of the biggest blessings in my life as well as my father's life.
They love my father just like my sisters and I love him, if not more. It turns out that my jealousy of sharing my dad was really just all in my head. The surreal beauty of a big family is that you will always have someone there to support, encourage and push you to do the right thing. I thank God every day for giving me such beautiful people in my life, and I ask him to protect us from all harm.
To all those who think it's not possible, it is, only if you make it so.
