25 Tips To Being A Professional Basic White Girl
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Politics and Activism

25 Tips To Being A Professional Basic White Girl

"I literally can't even."

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25 Tips To Being A Professional Basic White Girl
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Ahh, white girls. The trademark of Starbucks, Uggs, iPhones and a lot of other extraneous things in life. Yes, us white girls do have our moments, but from one basic white girl to another, let's help each other out.

1. When you go outside to tan, read a Nicholas Sparks novel to sob too. Your lonely tears will cool you down from the tanning oil burning your white skin.

2. When you have to fight the urge to go to Starbucks every day, tell yourself that the $4.99 can go towards a Pumpkin Spice latte in the Fall when you absolutely NEED it.

3. If you are often stressing about having nothing to wear, donate the clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in anymore and treat yourself to shopping. To fill the empty void in your heart and your closet.

4. It is better to be a confident bitch rather than a self-conscious bitch.

5. Take the pictures. You'll regret it when you're reminiscing and don't have anything to post on your Instagram story.

6. In the current age of cyber stalking, opt to stalk your crush's location on Snapchat maps. If he is on ghost mode, the boy has something to hide. Stalking payments on Venmo is also a stealthy move since every broke 20 something needs to get their money ASAP.

7. It is always better to be overdressed than underdressed. Unless you walk into a dive bar filled with creepy old men.

8. Be nice to everyone you meet until they give you a reason not to. You can then destroy them with your killer looks and secret evil antics.

9. Friendzone your guy friends to show them you have standards so that they can hook you up with their more appealing friends.

10. Carry a charger at all times. In the case of an emergency or that snap, you are in dire need of taking.


11. Save up and buy yourself the gifts you want. That way, it shows your significant other that they are replaceable but Chanel isn't.

12. Whenever you are feeling down, just remember you aren't as hated as Jenny, Vanessa, or Georgina from Gossip Girl.

13. Turn up the volume on the highest setting in your car so that when you are singing along to Despacito, you cannot hear your own screeching.

14. Cry for a good time after a break-up, but then get angry. Women respect an angry post break-up woman and men fear it.

15. If something isn't going your way, annoy whomever you must until they give in and you get what you want. Works every time.

16. Use the buddy system at all times. It doubles as not looking like a loner and having a friend you can boss around to take pictures of you.


17. There is no shame in having a year round Christmas wish list on Amazon. No one could possibly remember all the things you want.

18. The only acceptable time to scream out 'Daddy' is when you need him to come kill a spider.

19. Perfect your fake laugh so people won't question if you find them funny or not.

20. Avoid saying sorry when you have nothing to apologize for. You aren't a Justin Bieber song.

21. When you've been drinking and start to think it's a good idea to show off your dance/gymnastics/cheerleading skills from high school, don't. Just don't.

22. Plan your Halloween outfits months in advance. That way it's cheaper and you won't have to resort to being a nerd, hot cop, cow girl or a sexy cat, like every other girl who waited to the last minute.

23. Spend time with your family and appreciate them. Nobody likes a girl that pretends she is close with her grandparents when in actuality, she only speaks to them on holidays.

24. Keep your life clean. Every few months unfollow and unfriend random people from high school and that girl you secretly hate but stalk regardless. Clean feed, happier you.

25. If any relationship is hurting you, boyfriend, family or friend, listen and watch Lemonade by Beyonce. Remind yourself how bad of a bitch you are and remember, "Get a bigger smile on my face, being alone".

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