Before I start this, I want to say that none of this was because of who my roommate was as a person, we just weren't compatible to live together. I have nothing against her and wish her the best with the rest of her college career.
Freshman year, I had a great roommate. We chose each other, our parents were friends, and we were very similar. We didn't live together this year because we had different groups of close friends, which is totally fine. I was supposed to room with my best friend this year, but she ended up taking this year off for personal reasons. So, I was left with only one option. A random roommate chosen for me by the school.
From the first day it was pretty awkward, but I still tried to keep an open mind. I knew we weren't going to be best friends or anything, but I wanted us to get along, since we had no choice but to live together. As it turns out, we were just too different. For example, my entire side was decorated with bright colors and tons of pictures of my friends, while her side was completely bare except for a red and blue comforter.
A few weeks into the semester, I had a friend over to the room. My roommate came home while we were still there, and everything seemed fine. But the next day when I got home from class, she confronted me, saying I wasn't allowed to have friends in the room for more than fifteen minutes. I said I understood, and immediately started spending less time in our room.
As the year went on, she started calling me out for little things I did that she didn't like, so I was spending minimal time in the room. I would watch Netflix and do homework in the lounge, and spend almost every night at my friend's apartment. I didn't feel welcome in my own room, which is an awful feeling.
We also had a language barrier, which made the whole situation a little more difficult since it was so hard to communicate. By the end of the semester, we were at the point where we didn't even speak to each other at all.
I never really talked to anyone about it except for my parents and friends. I didn't complain to my RA or residence hall coordinator or anything. We got through it, and her program here was only one semester long. So, I am much happier now, living in my own room free to do whatever I want and with nobody to tell me otherwise. But my advice is, If you experience something like this or even worse, talk to the resources that are available to you and move out of the room. Everyone should feel welcome and safe in their own room.
