The sidewalks in my neighborhood are constantly filled with owners walking their groomed, well-trained and well-behaved dogs. These dogs never bark at strangers, walk next to their owner and obey commands of “sit” and “stay.”
Meanwhile, my dogs don’t even know their own name.
My dogs are probably some of the worst trained dogs out there. Don’t get me wrong, I love my puppies, but they are more than a handful.
My oldest dog, Mackinaw, is an old grumpy man trapped inside a small fluffy dog’s body. His arch nemesis is the mailman. Every day, Mackinaw will station himself in front of the windows, just waiting for his worst enemy to deliver us the mail. He paces back and forth from window to window, protecting us from the invasive mail that comes through our mail slot each day.
When Mackinaw isn’t doing his duty of attacking the deadly mail and ripping it to shreds, he is protecting us from the dangerous school children that walk by our house. He barks all day long at these poor children, warning everyone in the house that these small strangers are too close to his territory.
Although Mackinaw isn’t the most friendly dog to strangers, he does love his own family…most of the time. The house has certain rules for him, such as “Don’t touch him when he’s sleeping.” We think that he was an old grumpy man in his previous life, so he likes to go to bed early.
We learned the hard way that he absolutely hates when someone interrupts his good night’s sleep. He will growl even if you get too close to him sometimes. We can always fix that, however, with his favorite treat — cheese.
Despite his surliness, he demands constant attention from us. Every time I walk by him, he rolls over onto his back, insisting I rub his tummy. He also loves to be held like a baby. I've never seen a dog that likes to be held more than Mackinaw.
Mackinaw is actually pretty smart and can do some basic tricks like “sit” or “down,” but my second dog, Otto, is the dumbest dog you’ll ever meet. Otto never walks faster than two miles per hour because he has to drag his big rolly-polly belly along with him, unless he’s chasing a rabbit in the yard.
Otto has long fluffy fur that’s always in his eyes. It’s mostly white, with some black on his ears and face, and one perfect black circle right on his butt. It looks as if he was painting, fell asleep and fell right into the bucket of paint.
Otto knows absolutely no tricks. He loves to sit in the yard and stare at nothing for hours. He’s not the sharpest tool in the box, but he is one of the friendliest dogs out there. Otto loves all people, unlike Mackinaw, and will gladly say hi to anyone.
Even though my dogs are scruffy and problematic, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
