The Holiday Season starts in less than two weeks. Suddenly, you’re aware that you haven’t booked your flight, hotel, and rental car and your sister sent you a text with the list of expensive gifts she expects you to purchase her kids. Now you’re on Talkspace texting a shrink and wondering if the financial expectations of the holiday are worth the burden.

If you’re finding yourself in the annual holiday financial frenzy staring at your bank statement wondering how you are going to survive; here are some tips.

Start with A Budget

Let’s face it, we all dread the after holiday credit card bills. Plan how much you can afford to spend. Once you find your magic number, set your budget lower giving you a ten percent, plus or minus, leeway. Don’t worry about how much the Joneses are spending. It’s your money and your budget. Plan it. Stick to it. Don’t budge no matter how bad someone tries to make you feel. Your situation is different from theirs. Plus, they could be putting themselves in the very position you’re trying to avoid.

Last Minute Travel

So, you got wrapped up in the daily hustle and bustle of life and suddenly realized you forgot to book your plane tickets. Now the prices are astronomical. Oh yes, this conundrum is way too familiar for some of us, but there are ways out of it.

First, use your technology such as apps and your computer. Start researching prices on Kayak, Priceline, or any of the other vast resources for purchasing plane tickets, hotels, and rental cars. Sometimes package deals can be your best bargain, but don’t be afraid to pick and choose al la carte style either. Last year I got my best deal by booking a car for the entire trip and a hotel for the first two days on Priceline but booked my second hotel for a much better price for the last five days through another hotel’s website. Bouncing from one hotel to another wasn’t as bad as we thought and since we booked the second hotel for 12/26 – 12/30 we avoided the extra $90 we paid per day at the first hotel because we stayed there on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Don’t forget to check apps and sites, such as retailmenot.com for plane, car, and hotel discounts. Discount sites and apps can be your best friend this time of the year.

How far is your travel? If you can make the trip in a day by car, consider renting a car. A car rental, including insurance, could cost you as much as a plane ticket, or as my husband and I learned, it could be way less than the $1300 plus dollars one plane ticket would cost us to go from Georgia to Massachusetts because we booked late.

Always double check your booking discounts. Priceline is notorious for screwing up when it comes to discounts and insurance. I quickly resolved the issue by calling Priceline and the rental company with the discount codes. In minutes my price was down into the no anxiety zone. It’s possible this could happen on other sites (that I haven’t used). If your final price appears higher than it should be with taxes and fees, double check your discounts.

Finally, if you rent a car, get the rental insurance offered on the site or app. On most sites the fine print that discusses the rules of the rental companies is vague. I learned the hard way when I didn’t check to ensure the rental insurance purchase went through that this could cost you more than you want. My rental insurance that I was forced to purchase at the rental agency bumped my $248 rental to over $750. (Again, this was thanks to Priceline.com.) The average price of rental insurance on a site such as princeline.com or cheaprentals.com is $11.00 - $15.00 per day. When you get to the rental company on the day of travel, that insurance could be twice as much or more. Always make sure your confirmation includes information on your rental insurance. If not, call the company you booked with and get it fixed right away.

Shopping for and Carting Around All Those Gifts

Stop the insanity! Why in this modern age are we spending way too much money and still lugging around all these gifts? I live in Georgia, and my parents, grandparents, and stepchildren live in Massachusetts. There’s no way I’m paying UPS, FedEx, or the snail known as USPS their exorbitant shipping prices to send my gifts. I’m also not paying an airline a small fortune to load them on a plane. Save yourself the grief. Go online and use that fantastic technology available to you and ship directly to the recipients. Take advantage of sites that give you shipping discounts, or better, free shipping on orders over a set amount of dollars. You will save money and the hassle of lugging around bulky gifts.

The Price of Nieces, Nephews, and Grandkids

Don’t know what to get the kids or how much it will cost, don’t sweat it. Call the parents and ask. Many already know what their children want and are willing to split the list with you. If you have parents who seem a bit greedy and want you to buy a specific gift that cost more than you budgeted; ask what store carries the item. Then offer to send a store gift card in the amount you planned so the child(ren) could put it towards the purchase after the holiday.

You may think this is weird, but my sister-in-law started asking people to get her daughters gift cards to their favorite store or pre-paid credit cards. Every year after Christmas they go on an all-day spa and shopping spree with their holiday gift cards. It’s become a tradition they love, and it helps to take some financial burden away from the parents.

What Is Up with All These Tips?

Let’s talk about all these holiday tips we are expected to give. The list of recipients of tips is getting out of hand. First, if you tip the person all year round, such as your hairdresser or tattoo artist, there’s no reason for an additional annual tip unless you absolutely feel they deserve it but do check with your budget first. Can you afford it?

Your mailperson and the garbage people get paid a decent amount to do their job. It might not be as much as you, but why are we giving tips to people who earn a living wage? There’s no need to pay them an extra tip unless they have gone above and beyond their job. I’m tipping my mail lady this year because she helped me catch my terrified runaway foster dog. That’s going above and beyond her role and is something that positively affected my life. That deserves a tip.

Your child’s teacher is an entirely different situation. That teacher gets up, goes to work, and spends the day interacting with and teaching your children, so you don’t have to. Plus, they are intellectually improving your children's lives in a positive manner. Think about how grateful you are going to be when your child goes back to school after having to deal with them all day, every day during the holiday break. The least you can do is get a Dunks card that will pay for a couple of days or a week’s worth of coffee and donuts.

The Massive Traditional Holiday Meal Expense

There are a few ways to approach this issue. First, if you have family over, call your family and suggest everyone bring a specific item. Don’t let them choose for themselves. That could lead to mashed potatoes, and biscuit overload with no gravy, stuffing, or vegetable side dishes. Create a list and keep in mind each attendee’s strengths. If your mother bakes a killer sweet potato pie, assign that to her. If your brother cooks amazing twice baked broccoli and cheddar potatoes, assign him the baked potatoes. If your aunt’s strength is takeout, ask her to buy something that can be warmed up or picked up at a local bakery. It’s not too much to ask, and it cuts down on the cost of the meal. Don’t get super greedy though, make the bird, or roast yourself and have condiments available. You should be a gracious host.

The other choice is to go non-traditional. It may sound sacrilegious, but it is a phenomenal plan if you’re celebrating with just you and the kids or there’s only a few of you at the holiday table.

One year I found myself on the rebound from my husband losing his job earlier in the fall. So, we sat down and asked our then teenage boys if they wanted more gifts or a fancy meal. Their response was shocking. They weren’t into the big elegant dinner. Plus, having two sets of parents meant eating two big meals made with the same dishes every holiday. The boys asked for a Tex-Mex Christmas meal. So, we set up a taco buffet and made homemade burritos, and two desserts. The rest of the family brought a salad and other assigned dishes that went with the theme. Seven years later it’s still their favorite holiday meal.

If you want traditional, but there’s only a few of you, consider cutting down on the size of the bird. Do you want a giant turkey that will eventually go to waste? Consider getting just the breast or fancying up a roasted chicken. My family has also done, duck and Cornish hens. I went vegetarian a couple of years ago and let me tell you, coconut curried fall vegetables stuffed in acorn squash is not only inexpensive, but it makes an appropriate and unique holiday main dish. There’s no reason your festive meal should be more substantial than you need it to be.

Stay Away from Black Friday

My final tip is to avoid Black Friday. It’s designed to make you spend. In the last few years, more and more articles and media reports have shown how these bargains are not a bargain at all. Some of what you are buying is lesser quality items that the stores have had trouble moving throughout the year. Sometimes the deals include BOGOs which give you half-off if you buy double. Do you need that second item? The stores are also set up for additional impulse buys during Black Friday, so it’s best to avoid it all together. Instead of participating in the Black Friday shopping frenzy, go to work and earn some more of that much needed holiday cash or just stay home and build a fort tent with your children enjoying what it’s like to be playful again.

When it comes to the holidays, we could all benefit from a bit more smart consumerism and sticking to a set budget. It can be difficult with all the psychological retail warfare that bombards us in the form of constant television and online commercials, billboards, and junk mail flyers. Not to mention the Christmas music that’s supposed to put us in the mood for Christmas shopping and the children’s holiday lists and sad puppy dog faces. Don’t worry about keeping up with the Joneses. Keep in mind what is best for you and your family. Is it a fleeting moment of happiness and a house full of toys and gadgets that will be unused or tossed on the floor when the recipients are bored with them? Or will it be a financial stress-free holiday full of the important things? Be economically wise this holiday season so you can be truly joyful and enjoy your holidays.