You, in the attic of my mind, take up a lot of space

In one box you are the chubby boy, master of accents, class clown

Even in the fifth grade, and untouchable force

Even in the fifth grade, you, were the boy I could not have but was happy to hand off to someone else

Dusting off the shelves, you are older now yet still, the same sneaky smile remains

Funny how you knew how to fill a room with rumbles of laughter but would come home to a house so void of it

Filled with people but empty of everything you so easily gave to others

You, an enigma

Just when I thought I understood all of your layers, when I thought that I alone had access into your world I realize that there are others here too

That someone else already had that fickle heart of yours in their hands

That others have already been in your bed

You, the boy I thought felt the same way and I, the naive girl, still happy to give you away

There is a space filled with most recent of memories

Most treasured of moments

I, cracking open that heart of yours and finding that the fifth grade boy was still in there

I, coming to know a being who loves so fiercely even though he has never seen what love really means

I, laying my head on your chest feeling like forever would never be long enough to just remain this way

But I have learned that forever was never something that was intended for us

I must clean out my attic

Must remove the dead flowers

The pint sized photographs

The inside jokes

The blue glitter that made me feel like the only one you will ever love

I must build myself up, and prepare myself to once again, be happy that you have been given away.