Dogs may be super cute and cuddly on the outside, but like, they're completely out to get people.
1. They can walk on water
https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-white-long-coated-dog-dashing-trough-body-of-water-37860/
They may feign like they can only swim, but check the picture above. Look at it and weep, for it is true. Dogs can walk on water and they will use it to their advantage to ultimately destroy the human race. Ever wonder why you don't see dogs worrying about rising tides? 'Cause they can walk on water, duh!
2. They're basically invincible
https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-short-coated-dog-drinking-water-160740/
See that dog fist fighting water and winning? Yeah, he is a total savage and beyond stronger than water. Guess what? People are mostly water anyway, so a dog could totally take us down.
3. They plot while you sleep
https://www.pexels.com/photo/bed-bedroom-cute-dog-545016/
While you're snoozing the nights away and your eyes are shut tight, your seemingly sweet pooch is plotting your downfall. Look at those eyes. He is totally contemplating murder.
4. They have psychic powers
https://www.pexels.com/photo/animal-blur-canine-chihuahua-485294/
Not only do his eyes have murder in them, but they also have the ability to move objects! You better believe it. Your keys went missing? Can't find the remote? Ask your dog.
5. They can multiply rapidly
https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-and-brown-labrador-puppies-in-a-circle-formation-with-2-in-the-middle-160829/
Ever wonder why dogs have so many puppies at once? So they can overrun us in time. That's the only logical reason.
6. They have camouflaging capabilities
https://www.pexels.com/photo/animal-cold-cute-dog-434113/
When the world comes to an end and it is every man - and mammal - for himself, dogs will quickly climb to the top of the food chain. Why? Because they have innate cloaking abilities, that's why. Have you ever seen the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter? That's basically what a dog's fur is made from. That's why they're so good at hiding.
7. They can read (and write) English
https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-long-coat-dog-lying-on-highway-210031/
They may not be the best at spelling, but they sure as heck understand what you're saying. They can even communicate with people. Ever get a super weird call in the middle of the night? Yeah, it's your dog trying to ruin your life.
8. They can read minds
https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-and-tan-english-cocker-spaniel-194505/
Ever wonder why dogs stare at you with those big, cute eyes? Because they're reading your mind and finding your weaknesses. They want to take you down.
9. They're dirty thieves
https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-and-black-english-bulldog-stands-in-front-of-crackers-on-bowl-at-daytime-688961/
They may look all cute and cuddly on the outside, but that's just what the government wants us to think. They want us to bide into their cute, fluffy exterior so we ignore their blatant thievery.
