Have you ever woken up one morning and realized you don't love something like you used to. Maybe you play basketball and you've always played basketball. And one day you wake up and realize you don't like basketball anymore. It doesn't make you happy like it used to. You are just going through the motions because you're expected to. Maybe you volunteer at your local animal shelter. And one day you look down at the cat and you realize you haven't smiled at all that day when you used to have to fight to keep the smile off of your face. Maybe you have always played the violin and you used to spend hours trying to perfect a song instead of doing your homework. But now you have to force yourself to even practice.
There's something scary about becoming apathetic about something you used to love. It can seem like you are losing a part of yourself. Like you've lost your sense of self. It can be scary thinking about what would happen to you if you just stopped playing basketball or volunteering at the animal shelter or playing the violin.
What would people think about you? You wouldn't be the basketball player anymore. You'd be the former basketball player. What about your resume? It wouldn't look good to quit something before you finish out your academic career. Employers like to see commitment after all. What about yourself? What would you even do with yourself if you stopped doing the thing you've always done? What would you define yourself by if not by the activities you have always done?
Our fears about who we would be without them. Our fears about what others will think. Our fears about how it will affect our future. All of these things keep us doing things we don't even like to do anymore. They keep us from moving on and finding out that there are other things that we like to do.
I believe that apathy isn't necessarily a bad thing, and maybe we should listen to it. Maybe we shouldn't force ourselves to continue to do something we don't like anymore. Now, I don't mean we shouldn't do our homework because we don't want to. I mean that when we stop loving our extracurricular activities we should stop doing them. The whole point of hobbies and clubs is to have fun. If you aren't having fun any more than they aren't serving their purpose.
It can be scary to quit, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.
If we stop being who we always were, then we can find who we are now.
If we stop doing things that make us feel nothing we can find the things that make us feel something. If we don't stop playing basketball or volunteering at the animal shelter or playing the violin, then we'll never know that we love to tutor children or write poetry or run. It's okay to move on and find your new passions. Don't be afraid of apathy. Use it.
