This isn’t an article to preach to readers about the seriousness of mental health and what it means to have anxiety. This article is meant for readers to become more aware of the appropriate ways to address those with anxiety.
Social media is an outlet for many people to express their problems and fears but is often hidden behind the humor of memes, gifs, and tweets. I will often see individuals tweet “my anxiety makes me miserable” with a RuPaul gif added to take away from the seriousness of what it means for that person to live with anxiety.
The truth is we don’t have to loaf-around in our mental health, but we also don’t have to make light of a serious condition to make others comfortable with how we feel on a daily basis.
With this being said, just because those living with the anxiety can make light of their own situation doesn’t mean that everyone gets to take advantage of the notion. In fact, there are seven things you should know when you’re friends with someone or interact with someone who has anxiety.
1. Do not describe someone with anxiety as “anxious."
Telling a person with anxiety that one of the words you use to describe them is “anxious” leads them to think that their mental state defines who they are as a person. They already struggle enough with their “anxious” thoughts without someone reminding them of it.
2. A lot of times, anxiety can control a person’s emotions.
So, be mindful if someone seems to be more sensitive or “not themselves” on certain days. It could mean that their anxiety is at an all-time high and they aren’t sure how to address or deal with it at the moment.
3. Don’t take it personally when they tell you they aren’t going out tonight, or all weekend.
“Me time” is not a foreign concept for someone who has anxiety. Being with a lot of people, around a lot of noise will just lead them to count down the hours until they can be back home by themselves. Crowds and uncomfortable situations can heighten their anxiety and lead to a miserable time for all parties involved.
4. Panic attacks are a very real thing.
They sometimes hit at the weirdest moments. For me, when I’m driving or at night when I have time to sit and think about all the things that need to be done or fears that I have, they can lead to full-blown, sobbing panic attacks where it feels like you aren’t breathing enough air.
5. When an individual with anxiety expresses their self-doubt or fears, they aren’t looking for attention.
In fact, the last thing someone with anxiety wants is to have a lot of attention on them. Words of self-doubt and expressions of fear often come out when the person really feels like they won’t live up to the expectation that others may have about them. They’re inadvertently letting people know they’ll be disappointed by their performance before it happens.
6. Don't make light of someone's anxiety by telling them that everyone experiences fear and "off days."
Anxiety is a literal disorder that people live with. It isn't just one bad day or becoming nervous about a certain circumstance. It's can control their thoughts, the outcome of a situation, and it leads them to think people hate them because they're such a disappointment. It's so much more than "shaking it off" or simply "cheering up".
7. Telling someone with anxiety "Stop being nervous/worrying!" or "You have nothing to worry about!" or "You're literally worrying over nothing!", DOES NOT make the anxiety magically disappear.
Talk the person through their fear and give words of affirmation. It's more productive than throwing their worries out the window like its nothing. People with anxiety are trapped in their mind and do not see what you see out of a situation, so providing insight is more beneficial than summing their worries up to concerns that don't mean anything.
Anxiety is quite literally something people would do anything to not live with. Being aware of the things that can add to it is often times unpredictable or unknown, and is often hidden behind humor. However, showing sensitivity towards the key symptoms of the disorder can be beneficial to the situation.
