When we first met, things were great. I couldn't believe a guy like you would bat an eye at a girl like me. We were also, two broken souls who needed a flame, and we happened to find a spark in each other. You were that person who I felt like I had known my whole life, the missing puzzle piece to my already broken heart.

We had great times, we laughed, we made memories, we'd fall asleep texting. You made me outgoing and want to be a better person. I jumped mountains for you. I dropped everything in my life, to be with you. It's what I thought I wanted, what WE wanted. Then one day it all changed. It wasn't quick like a car accident would be. It was a slow change, like we were slowly drowning within our own relationships. I was suffocating, and I didn't even know it until you are too late.

I was addicted to you, and let's face it, addictions eventually turn into something negative. I should have seen the signs. When we moved in together, you slowly kept me away from contacting all of my old friends. You'd get upset over things you used to love about me because they were my "quirks", you'd make me feel like I was the one to blame. Then the drinking started.

I felt alone, trapped, like no matter how loud I wanted to scream nothing came out. I had no voice. Everything I did was wrong. We'd paint this beautiful picture to everyone else, and we were fraud. I'm not sure what changed. Or if the mask of who I thought you were was finally removed from my eyes.

My family knew something was wrong, they'd try to reach out, but you'd tell me they were controlling me. I needed a mind of my own and to be an adult. When In reality, it was you. All of the toxic poison you fed me, made me believe you were something good. Someone I needed. When in reality, you needed me more.

Then one day it all made sense, I wasn't enough. You broke a trust within our relationship, and within more than one friendships. You changed me. My outlook on love. But I wouldn't allow you to break me.

I felt sick, and alone. I felt like you got away with murder. The verbal abuse was enough, but if you didn't love me anymore, I would have rather you just left me. You had me wondering for years what I did wrong. Why I was left to raise a family by myself.

Why you forgot we existed. You got to walk away as if nothing ever happened, as if you never knew me, and those pink lines on the pregnancy test never showed up. But they did. and we are here. Three years later, we are still here. And doing awesome.

You are a part of my past I wish I never knew, but I am also forever grateful for. You gave me the blessing of becoming a mother. A reason to keep going. A little person who needs me. Who will always need me. Who will never know your face, but always be my favorite face to look on.

You can keep living as if we never existed. That's okay. This isn't to make you feel guilty, or sorry for us.

So much good has happened since you left. So many memories have been made. And we have people in our lives who love us with our quirks and all. I am no longer drowning, but a new person who has every reason to live.

I can't pretend you never happened, or you don't exist. In fact, I'm thankful that you do exist. I will always wish the best for your wellbeing. I will never allow anyone to walk over me or make me lose sight of who I am again. I will teach my child to be strong. To know how to be independent, and how to love others.

I am a better woman because of you. And I wouldn't change my past for the world because it has gotten me to where I am today. A mother, a student, and a hard worker. I no longer cry or wonder why I wasn't good enough for you, because I know the answers now. It's you who wasn't good enough for our family.

Thank you for kicking me when I was down. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to hit rock bottom, because I had nowhere else but up to go from there. Thank you for giving me my child. I'm not sorry you are not here. I am sorry for whoever you will continue to hurt in the process of your destruction. But I have let it go.

God knows what He's doing. And you were just a tiny piece of the big puzzle in my life. I wish you the best. And I pray that next time something reminds you of us, you keep pretending we don't exist. Truth be told, you don't exist to us anymore either.