If you're reading this, you're probably...NOT my future boyfriend. Hi, mom and dad! In the rare circumstance that the guy I'll date next is reading this, lucky you, I'm here to scare you away!

To my future boyfriend, there's a lot about me that you should know. I'd reckon we'd talk about this anyways, but hey, just a little precaution for ya here! Alright, let's get started. (I just thought how funny it would be to put a gif of someone cracking their fingers and getting ready for some serious business right here... but I won't do it).

I hate being serious. Of course, there's a time and a place, but I'm a goofy gal! I am the most sarcastic human being to ever grace this earth and most of the stuff I say is going to have sarcastic undertones. Being serious makes me uncomfortable 75% of the time and I'd rather fall down a flight of steps than talk about my feelings and all that gross stuff.

If you don't know my coffee order, my middle name, favorite foods, first pet's name, social security number- nah, I'm just fucking with you. I'm probably going to be the most laidback girl you've ever been with, lucky you! I can get jealous sometimes but the crazy expectations some girls have for their boyfriends nowadays, that ain't me.

I like, NEVER sleep and I get grumpy when I don't eat. I have insomnia and a love/hate relationship with food so.. good luck Charlie.

On a more serious note (I know, I know, I'm sorry)- you'll be there for my panic attacks, nightmares, you'll see me grow and you'll see me fall. You'll see me in lows and you'll see me in highs and you'll start to learn the crazy mess that is my mind and how I work.

While I could go on and on about me, what's the fun in spoiling all of the secrets and dumb stuff about me?

I can be a handful sometimes and Lord knows I've got baggage, but I'll give you my all and love you unconditionally and I hope it'll be the same for you.

I can't wait to meet you.

Come to me soon,

xo, Alix.