Dear Ex-Boyfriends,

I want to start by saying thank you. I know it might sound weird but you taught me a lot about myself. You also took a lot out of me and it sucks. You taught me that you were not the right person and that their was someone who was better. You taught me that the words you said really didn't mean much. You probably said those words just to make me feel good about myself. Every time each one of you said "I love you" and you actually didn't know what love actually was. Well thank you for making me realize that love is a total sacrifice for the person you actual love. It's seeing the little things in another person and just falling deeper, like the way someone laughs, or how they smile every time their favorite song comes on. Letting someone be who they really are without making them feel bad about themselves. I know that at the time you may have felt that way about me but let's be real, the more you realized it you just wanted the company.

You wanted to be able to say that you had a girlfriend. The more you thought about it, you really didn't love me. Every time that you said it you didnt mean it but you were too afraid to hurt me. Honestly, you hurt me in the worst way possible. You made me cry myself to sleep, you made me feel stupid, you made me doubt myself, and you made me feel broken. You lied to me and yet I still found a way to forgive you each time. I gave you so many chances that you didn't deserve. I actually thought that you saw something in me. When my friends were telling me I deserve so much better, I didn't think I did. Social media in each relationship was tearing us apart. There were so many empty promises. I also was wrong for holding one when it would have been easier letting go. It wouldn't have hurt as much.

I was such a silly girl for falling for each of you. People ask me what I saw in each of you and I honestly say that I have no idea. Granted I am thankful for the memories but the lessons are so much better. You made me realize that the guy I am with now is the perfect person for me. The reason being friends doesn't work is because things just don't work out and certain things are said that makes me uncomfortable. I will be happy for each of you when the right person walks into your life and sticks with you. I will also admit that I wasn't totally innocent either. I was trying to be someone you wanted. I pretended to be happy during the relationship because I didn't want to look weak even though I knew that it wasnt going to last. We were both scared to say something to the other. I was so used to pretending that everything was okay. I am still confused on why I was so upset. I just laugh when I see a request from you and than when I check there is nothing there. I don't need the negativity.

Here's just an update: I am finding myself through someone who makes me smile and laugh. You made me feel weak for a minute but I built myself back up. I am honestly doing better than ever and honestly life is going really well. Life has thrown me some challenges but I am only coming back stronger. You made me who I am today and honestly I don't feel bad about it. I laugh louder, smile bigger, and feel like I can over come anything. God has done some miraculous things and has blessed me in multiple ways. Granted I am still learning to love myself but I'm getting better at it. Yes, I do have moments where I have breakdowns but I get back up and show myself that it could be done. Writing, superheroes, cooking, baking, listening to music are still the things that I enjoy so that hasn't changed. If any of you have been scared to message me just do it. I have no issue talking. Also, tell your family I said hi.

Sincerely,

The One that Got Away