Dear Intense X-mas Lovers,
I didn’t want to write this letter and break your joyful evergreen hearts, but sadly this intervention is direly needed. Basically, this ridiculously early Christmas preparing must be addressed. Because if no one stops you, the madness will only continue to spiral out of control. Before we know it, Christmas decorations will start going on sale with the back-to-school products. I don’t want to have to stock up on lined paper and garland!
And that’s the biggest issue – timing! You candy cane lovers lay and wait for the second the clock strikes midnight and Nov. 1 starts, just so you can pop out of bed and start caroling and tree decorating as soon as possible. This would be fine if November was just a long boring month with nothing to offer. However, you and your eager yuletide activities are short-changing poor Thanksgiving, a holiday that has fallen to the number three spot as Halloween's popularity has risen (which is outrageous seeing as Halloween is just a pathetic excuse to escape our lives through childish dress-up, all while teaching children that it's OK to take candy from strangers).
Thanksgiving should not be viewed as a second class holiday. Sure, there may not be presents or long vacations or mythical men to break into your house. Yet, Thanksgiving, I would argue, is far superior to Christmas. Thanksgiving not only removes the stress of gift giving, but also allows you a free pass to eat for an entire day, to an absurd extent, with no judgment! What else could you want in a holiday? Not to mention Thanksgiving’s separation from the materialistic undertones of Christmas and as well as Thanksgiving’s proud emphasis on gratitude. Of course, Thanksgiving might not have catchy songs or a month of movies on ABC Family, but it has turkey, pumpkin pie, and a whole parade!
I want you to know that I’m not writing you these things because I’m an X-mas hater. In fact, I love Christmas! I, too, look forward to gingerbread cookies, hot chocolate, and watching "The Polar Express." It’s just that, for me, when Halloween ends it means it’s time to start making the Thanksgiving grocery list and checking it twice not the Naughty or Nice list.
No one, not even Thanksgiving, deserves to feel forgotten or unimportant. So, if everyone could hold off decking their halls until Nov. 27, it would be much appreciated. I know this might be hard for you, seeing as you bleed green and red, named your dog Rudolph, and sing "White Christmas" in your sleep. But just think about how you would feel if New Years Day was the most popular holiday and everyone spent December getting ready for the ball to drop? You would probably sentence all those people to life on the Naughty list.
Luckily, we Thanksgiving-people are much more forgiving than you. Basically, hold off on caroling for a few weeks and we will welcome you to our Thanksgiving feasts with open arms.
Sincerely,
Thanksgiving Believers
