In the year 2012 while I was a freshman in high school, I was a very depressed kid. At the start of 2012 I made a pact for myself that I would commit suicide on April 13^th. I don’t think that the date had any real significance, other than it being a Friday the 13^th that we had that year.

Unlike the complaining and blabbering I usually did, I kept this on the down-low. The week went as usual and a friend who was an upperclassmen starting telling me about one of her current favorite authors – John Green. She decided to lend me a book of his because she thought that I would like his work well.

April 13^th rolled around and because it was Friday I had Writing Club which this girl was a part of and she gave me the first John Green book I would read. It was An Abundance of Katherines.

She of course didn’t know my plans but her willingness to share something important to her with a freshman girl who idolized her was forever etched in my mind.

I took the book home and instead of going along with my plans, I read the book. I read it and read it and didn’t stop. I cried and cried and I finished it that night.

The action wasn’t the only thing that was important to me, the story content was important too. John Green writes emotional, realistic teen fiction stories that tug on the heartstrings of teens and young adults everywhere and this book was no different.

An Abundance of Katherines has so much to do with love, loneliness, identity and the hard realization that none of us are really all that important, but that’s okay. It was all okay. It was hard to read all the goals of 14-year old me (being loved, being important, having friends) ripped apart and splattered across the pages, but it was a good pain and told me that there were others like me.

This story became my anthem and I tried my best not to care about mattering from then on. Feeling validated and also torn apart by this book changed my life.

Though The Fault in Our Stars has particular popularity, An Abundance of Katherines will always be my favorite John Green book and the book that saved my life.

Although I haven’t talked to her in years I hope the girl who lent me her copy is out there somewhere inspiring others and saving lives, one book at a time.