An Apology Or Something To Someone I Loved
Start writing a post

An Apology Or Something To Someone I Loved

Things change and people grow up and life moves on; we learned the hard way.

An Apology Or Something To Someone I Loved

Last time I saw you, I promised you that nothing would change. I promised you that when you returned, I would be here, in the same spot with my heart still worn on my sleeve.

I shouldn’t have.People change. People grow up. And it’s the most heartbreaking thing in the world, the idea that the same things that made someone love you are what makes them stop loving you. I hate that. I hate the fact that I second guess myself every time I pick up the phone to call you, especially because there were days when I would call you to tell you the smallest thing, about the pretty flower I saw on the sidewalk or the shitty cup of coffee I drank in the morning.

I hate the fact that I can feel you care less, want to be around me less, and I hate the fact that I’m okay with it.

I hate that when I miss you, I miss the old you, the one who would laugh at my awful jokes and would get excited to see me and who thought I was the greatest thing to happen.

I hate that the new you ignores every small joke I make and spends time with me out of obligation and has not only realized how damaged I really am, but also wants nothing to do with it.

I hate that I thought I needed you. More so, I hate that the realization that I don’t need you is so bittersweet. Because I never wanted to need you, I only wanted to want you. But now I don’t want you either, and that makes me a strange kind of sad.

I don’t really know what this is. I think it’s an apology, but I don’t know what I’m apologizing for. Partly for depending on you too much. Partly for putting you through everything I put you through while I was trying to figure myself out. Partly for jeopardizing everything and partly for purposefully getting on your nerves. Partly for apologizing too much. And probably for a multitude of other things.

So here it is, I’m sorry. Things changed. I changed. And I miss you, but not enough to do anything about it. I guess what I’m saying is good luck.

I hope you’re well and I hope you think of me sometimes.

But know that if you don’t, I’ll be fine regardless.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments