To be honest, I never realized that the college I went to is a predominantly white institute (PWI). I think it is because I have always been going to PWIs my entire life. Every school I went to, there were more white people than there were black people. So, I never thought much about racism because I never witnessed it often, I was the only black person in elementary school. I was also very sensitive, so I cried a lot. I got picked on, was discriminated, beaten, tormented all the way to college. I would cry to myself and angrily say, "Why me? What joy do they get from trying to give me a hard time? I'm a nice person. All I'm doing is trying to mind my own, and I still get nothing but bullshit." Even in college, I was the only black roommate in a room of four. My roommates were total jerks to me. They would sneak into my room and put water condoms under my bed.
They filled my room with packing peanuts, stole my things, and kept making fun of my African background my mocking my voice. The worst part was that I was really doubting myself at this time. I was so lacking of confidence and scared and they still treated me like crap. Along with that, even the staff on campus are not that supportive. I never felt welcome in my own dorm. Most of the RAs wouldn't help me. They would be like, "I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I wish I could help". RAs are supposed to help students transition into campus life, not turn their back on you when you need it. I don't even think I am the only one on campus that feels this way. Racism applies to almost every African American on campus. It feels like we, as African Americans on a PWI, are backed up in this little corner, while every other student won't share space. I can't even walk around campus without random people giving me dirty looks. I always try to mind my own, but that is mad annoying. Being on a PWI makes me wish I went to an HBCU( historically black college or university). I would probably feel way more welcome there.
Why Did I Stay?
Despite all the crap I have dealt with on this campus, I found strength in myself to persevere through and focus on the positives. I have gained enough confidence to not give in to the hate. If I gave in to the hate, then my enemies already won. Before you start judging me, no, I don't hate white people in general. It is just that some white people on this campus still act like this is the old days where discrimination was so blatant. Is that harsh? Yes. Do I care? No. That's how I feel. I tried to unite the campus. I tried to invite my friends to some Multicultural Student Affairs events. Some were actually willing to go. Others were too afraid to stand out. Now, I'm about to graduate, So was going to a PWI easy? No. Would I trade for anything else? Never.
