Below you will find my open thoughts. My intent is not to start another heated political fight on the internet. My intent is to express my conflicting thoughts, and hopefully anybody who is as conflicted as I am can relate and know that they're not alone. I like America and I believe that it has a lot of wonderful things, so please don't attack me with anti-American bullshit. I'm just trying to figure it all out.

I've been confused, conflicted, embarrassed, enlightened, inspired, and scared.

I think it's statements like, "I'm moving to Canada," that I find myself thinking, and hear other people saying. Up front it's a funny joke. Deep down it's an alternative that I've actually briefly considered the details of.

It's bold claims that, "America is the greatest country in the world," with power, war, and weapons being a huge determinant in many of those claims.

It's the political arguments, propaganda, debates, issues and candidates (sometimes the candidates and the issues are one in the same).

I tell myself I can't get involved in the election, because I don't know enough about any of the candidates, but I find myself caught up in it all the same.

Yet, I somehow believe that I can clearly identify which one is the worst, but can I? One candidate might be openly more angry, more bigoted, more outwardly horrible, but were the alternatives' agendas any more visionary in guiding our country toward a more accepting and progressive nation?

Who can you even trust to help you come to a conclusion? The media? Not for unbiased news. Each other? Well, if we're all quoting and spreading what we read in the paper and watched on TV, then no again.

I am not a politician. I am not a politically-minded individual. I am not an avid reader, researcher, or follower of national happenings. I am just an American who's trying to navigate what that means.

I am embarrassed that a message fueled by hate and fear can bring people together.

I am confused when I find myself wondering if I really would leave my home to save myself from embarrassment. It might sound cowardly, to leave home when things don't go my way -- but I would almost rather be a coward than live in a place where a person who openly preaches hate and condones violence is elected into office and representing us.

Call me crazy, but I also don't understand why we must claim, over and over again, that we are the greatest nation in the world. I think that the more we have to say it, just like anything else in life, the more we're trying to convince ourselves it's true.

Are we just repeating it, hoping that it becomes true? And since when did more power (bombs) equate to higher status on the scale of best-in-world? Read a leadership book, that's not how that works.

Maybe we are the best. Maybe we aren't. But maybe if it didn't matter, we wouldn't constantly be having to prove that our guns are bigger, our army is stronger, and maybe if we weren't so worried about being the best, we could take more time for evaluation.

Maybe, we could even start to admit our faults. You know who admits their faults? The strongest organizations, the most successful leaders, the best of the best.

I'm not anti-America. I love the U.S.A. It's my home and it has provided me and many others with a wealth of opportunity. Every day I heard about leaders in this country pursuing equality and opportunity for all.

But, sometimes when I think about it, I still find it hard to stand up and say, "I'm proud to be an American."

Call me an American Idiot, but I just can't figure us out.