What It’s Like to Date a Narcissist

When you first met, you were swept off your feet. You thought to yourself, “Wow… this is what true love is supposed to feel like.” You felt like they understood everything about you, and loved everything about you. They quickly became your best friend and before you knew it, “I love you” was said for the first time. It felt like you were living in a fairytale, as if you were the princess in the movies you watched as a little girl. Your family and friends are wooed by how kind and thoughtful he is. All of your friends make comments asking, “When are you going to marry her?” Because they all thought it was just as perfect as you did.

Then… the fairytale ends.

You’re met with constant arguments. You begin to doubt yourself and wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” “I need to fix this about myself or I’ll lose him forever.” You are berated for things he doesn’t like you doing, as he turns around and does the same.

Because it’s okay if he does it.

You begin to realize things aren’t right. And you find yourself becoming miserable. But, you still have this idea in your head of who he was when you first met. Charming, sweet, loving… so you continue to hold onto that despite the things your friends are telling you.

Then you decide to move. To an entire different state, away from your friends and family, and everything you have ever known. You do your best to adjust and put on a happy face.

But then you begin to feel alone. You spend your days watching TV, laying in bed all day. You try to communicate about how bad you are struggling to adjust and those feelings are brushed off. You’re all alone. In a foreign area.

You would go out and try to enjoy yourself. But then you felt alone in a room full of people. He noticed how you felt. But he didn’t care. Because you looking “miserable” just made him look bad. It was your fault for feeling the way you were.

You find a friend to vent to about how you’re feeling. And quickly you are accused of being in love with said friend. You fight. And you fight hard to mend your relationship. Because you still have this idea of who he was when you first met. Charming, sweet, loving… But you soon realize it was all for show. So, you give up too. You pack up your belongings and drive back home where you’re met with endless love and support from your friends and family. And just like that, you don’t feel alone anymore.

The hardest pill to swallow was, “If he wanted to, he would.” You weren’t exciting to him anymore. So, he stopped trying. And he found him someone new and exciting quickly after things ended. Which tells you all you need to know.

You see, being with a narcissist is a whirlwind of emotions. You feel on top of the world. Then the newness wears off. You’re not worth their effort anymore. And then they find someone new. Now, you meet new men and they sweep you off your feet instantly. But then you’re reminded of what happened the last time a man swept you off your feet. So your guard is up. You’re much more cautious now.

As you have time to reflect, you realize all of the things you overlooked. Everything truly happens for a reason. They will make you out to be the bad guy to save face. But that’s okay.

Because you’re at peace. You’re not alone anymore. And now, that chapter is closed.