Dr. Jordan Peterson, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, has recently been called out for his refusal to use gender neutral pronouns, such as the singular 'they,' for students (If you haven't heard about this development yet, you can read more about it here). In a series of video conferences, Peterson has criticized political correctness and claimed that "social justice warrior, left-wing radical political activists" run the college campus.
When I heard about this, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Trans people everywhere are misgendered and mistreated every day because "it's too hard" or "that's not what it says on your birth certificate." The identities of trans people are placed beneath the "comfort" of cisgender people. Either that, or people think that it's too much effort to either change pronouns for someone else or learn new ones. Let me just say one thing: a transgender person's pronouns are not up for debate.
When someone says, "Hey, I trust you with this information: I identify as male/female/nonbinary, and I would like you to use he/she/they/ze/etc. when addressing me," that does not mean, "Only use these pronouns if you remember or if you feel like it." It means, "This is how I identify. This is who I am. Please respect me and acknowledge my preferences." It also does not mean that only "nice" transgender people are deserving of respect. Just because you might not get along with every trans person you meet, does not mean you can misgender or misname them. They are human, and deserve to have their identity respected as much as anyone else.
Worse than misgendering a trans person to their face is doing it behind their back. When talking about someone you know who is trans, don't say things like, "But I knew them before they were a boy/girl/gender-nonconforming individual, I'll never think of them as [chosen name] or as [chosen pronoun]," or "Those pronouns aren't real, they sound made up." The message that you are sending with a statement like this is, "Your identity is uncomfortable for me, and your feelings don't matter to me." And if you argue against the legitimacy of someone's pronouns because they "sound made up," I have some news for you about all other words, and language in general.
All that being said, you shouldn't feel any anxiety about misgendering someone accidentally. If your friend comes out as trans and you slip up and use their old name or pronouns once or twice, that is okay. Correct your mistake and move on. We are more than willing to work with someone to help them adjust to our chosen name and pronouns.
Going back to the topic of the pronouns discourse in Canada, Dr. Lee Airton, one of Peterson's colleagues, responded to this discourse with an article of their own, entitled 'Gender-Neutral Pronouns Shouldn't Be a Big Deal.' In this article, they talk about their own identity and reiterate the point that adjusting to new pronouns can be a challenge, and working together to overcome it can be an educational bonding experience for everyone. Using someone's chosen pronouns should not be such a topic of controversy. No one should be deciding whether or not they will respect another person's identity simply because they can't personally understand everything about being transgender. It isn't about political correctness or sensitivity, it's about growth and respect.
