There is this rare sense of detachment that occurs on these special kind of bad days. You can't explain it. People pass by, speak to you, but you don't feel like you've brought your entire self to the table. It is like standing in a crowd, while everything is going fast forward around you or hearing someone's laugh from below the water. You're just out of it, and your sense of belonging becomes a bit blurry and the only comfort is your quiet room and maybe some headphones to get you through your funky mood.
It is an unexplainable sadness while still being okay. This is more truly a sense of an independent day, where other people are just too much to handle that day. It takes one special person to pull you out of that time in your head, but it takes a lot.
You see people online doing all this stuff, and you feel like you are the only one not involved or doing something somehow. But, none of it is true. It just feels that way. This adds to your isolation, but the majority of the time (and trust me I have seen it), the camera is the only thing making them smile. The minute it's off, everyone goes back to acting normal not as entertained as when they had to show the world what they were doing...as if proving some point that they have a life. Everyone does, but we are in a culture of validation where everything must be fully explained and proven, in order to be believed (whether towards others or proof for themselves).
In reality, everyone has those bad days, where time just seems to be passing by. That day is just not your day. That's it.
There are ways to get out of that feeling. It is to allow yourself to go through it, but not let it conquer your day. Life isn't black and white. There are so many colors there to cheer you up, so don't let that dark cloud sit there.
Don't sit at home. Don't isolate yourself. Just go out, even if you don't really feel like it, because it will help… a lot. Realize you have a lot of positives in your life. Know that it's your mind making you overthink and putting ideas into your head that are untrue. Life is amazing to experience and the people are even better, but it's okay to want to be alone for a while too.
