Accutane Changed My Life

Accutane Changed My Life

Beauty shouldn't be skin deep, but kids are mean.


"Man, I really wish I could go back to middle school."

Those are eleven words that I have never felt compelled to say but to each their own.

In middle school, things are already confusing. You are trying to figure out who you are. Unfortunately, so is everyone else. What could make this awkward transition worse? Acne. And not just a little bit of acne, but face consuming acne that begins to get you all kinds of lovely nicknames around the hallways. My personal favorite being, volcano face.

Yeah, that felt good to hear about yourself at age thirteen, let me tell you.

I still carry those insecurities around with me today. Beauty shouldn't be skin deep, but kids are simply mean.

I began getting early childhood acne in the fourth grade. It started as a minor inconvenience, and slowly over time fused with my identity and the way I viewed myself.

By fifth grade, things were much worse in just a years time. I was wearing a full face of makeup to class by the first day of sixth grade. Meanwhile, all my friends have on the infamous middle school look, blue eyeshadow that goes up to the brow and their perfectly clear skin. They could run around at recess and be rowdy. Meanwhile, I had to run to the bathroom every day after recess to make sure my makeup wasn't blotting and exposing the redness.

And unfortunately, what many didn't know or care to recognize, was that I am intolerably allergic to the number one acne fighting treatment in the world, Benzoyl Peroxide. Those of you that use Clearasil or Proactive, count your blessings.

I couldn't do anything about this, and the comments that were made destroyed every ounce of my self-esteem.

There was a turning point, eventually. During my sophomore year of high school, I had heard it all. I rarely went to school. I would fake illnesses just to avoid the comments I knew I would hear. People were ruthless, and I was weak.

I had exhausted nearly every option I had. I tried charcoal face bars, masks, unscented soap bars. I was hopeless, and day by day was becoming more fragile. Kids at school would make comments to each other, and eventually even to me. "Hey, you should try this face wash." I appreciate that, but little did they know I scrubbed my own skin so much one night because I was so sad that I tore half the skin off the left side of my face the day before my birthday.

I just wanted one day. And it seemed like it would never come.

Until there was a turning point.

Towards the middle of sophomore year, I got approved to go on Accutane.

Accutane has a very serious reputation associated with it because you have to take so many precautions due to linkage with severe depression and liver or kidney functioning problems. Not to mention, if someone were to get pregnant while on Accutane, there are severe deformities that can occur. It was a serious risk to both mental and physical health.

I didn't know what I was getting myself into. However, I knew I had to try it.

Accutane changed my life. I looked like a dried up sponge for months, and there were days where I still felt hopeless early on.

The reason so many are hesitant to get an Accutane prescription is due to the side effects of severe Depression associated with the drug. Coming from someone who was severely depressed, I genuinely had never felt better in my life.

I felt optimistic when I was in the dark for so long, and I was able to go from heavy foundation to light concealer and power, all the way to where I am today, occasional tinted moisturizer to add some color. Accutane changed my life. No one should ever feel hopeless or less of a person due to physical appearance.

This subject isn't light, but it needed to be addressed. If you or anyone you know thinks they are out of options, you aren't and they aren't.

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20 Small Tattoos With Big Meanings

Tattoos with meaning you can't deny.

It's tough to find perfect tattoos with meaning.

You probably want something permanent on your body to mean something deeply, but how do you choose a tattoo that will still be significant in 5, 10, 15, or 50 years? Over time, tattoos have lost much of their stigma and many people consider them a form of art, but it's still possible to get a tattoo you regret.

So here are 20 tattoos you can't go wrong with. Each tattoo has its own unique meaning, but don't blame me if you still have to deal with questions that everyone with a tattoo is tired of hearing!

SEE RELATED: "Please Stop Asking What My Tattoos Mean"

1. A semicolon indicates a pause in a sentence but does not end. Sometimes it seems like you may have stopped, but you choose to continue on.

2. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."

3. Top symbol: unclosed delta symbol which represents open to change. Bottom symbol: strategy.

4. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."

5. Viking symbol meaning "create your own reality."

6. Greek symbol of Inguz: Where there's a will, there's a way.

7. Psalm 18:33 "He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights."

8. 'Ohm' tattoo that represents 4 different states of consciousness and a world of illusion: waking (jagrat), dreaming (swapna), deep sleep (sushupti), transcendental state (turiya) and world of illusion (maya).

9. Alchemy: symbolizes copper, means love, balance, feminine beauty, and artistic creativity.

10. The Greek word “Meraki" means to do something with soul, passion, love, and creativity or to put yourself into whatever you do.

11. Malin (Skövde, Sweden) – you have to face setbacks to be able to go forward.

12. Symbol meaning "thief" from "The Hobbit." It was the rune Gandalf etched into Bilbo's door so the dwarves could find his house.

13. “Lux in tenebris" means “light in darkness."

14. Anchor Tattoo: symbolizing strength and stability, something (or someone) who holds you in place, and provides you the strength to hold on no matter how rough things get.

15."Ad Maiora" is translated literally as “Towards greater things." It is a formula of greeting used to wish more success in life, career or love.

16. A glyph means “explore." It was meant as a reminder for me to never stop exploring.

17. "Aut inveniam viam aut faciam," meaning roughly, "Either I shall find a way, or I will make one."

18. Lotus Flower. It grows in muddy water, and it is this environment that gives forth the flower's first and most literal meaning: rising and blooming above the murk to achieve enlightenment.

19. The zen (or ensō) circle to me represents enlightenment, the universe and the strength we all have inside of us.

20. Two meanings. The moon affirms life. It looks as if it is constantly changing. Can remind us of the inconsistency of life. It also symbolizes the continuous circular nature of time and even karma.

SEE ALSO: Sorry That You're Offended, But I Won't Apologize For My Tattoos

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12 Tips Before Getting Your First Eyelash Extensions

I know you are in the middle of making your appointment, but here are a few pointers.


If you are like me, you are super hesitant about trying new things in the beauty realm. I have finally tried lash extensions and can easily say I am obsessed. 10/10 recommend! If you are considering getting yours done, here are a few pointers!

1. Shower before your appointment.

This seems logical, but I wasn't aware. Luckily, I did shower before my appointment and wasn't shocked when my lash tech said, "don't get them wet for 24 hours."

2. Not all extensions are over the top. There are lash extensions for EVERYONE. 

I was super worried my lashes were going to be crazy over the top and I would look crazy during my runs. I asked my lash tech and she gave me a set of natural lashes. You get to pick the style of lashes you want! You can get them for fuller volume or just a natural look. There is a style of lashes for everyone!

3. Yes, they are SO much better than mascara and strip lashes.

I was already a firm hater of mascara, so lash extensions didn't have to work hard to win me over. As for strip lashes, I use to love putting them on for a night out or date night. It seemed as if a makeup look was not complete without them. Now, I wear less makeup on a night out because I feel as if my lashes really just pull the simplest of looks together.

4. Not all lash techs will charge you an arm and a leg.

One of my favorite nail salons offers lash extensions, STARTING at $100. Luckily, if you live near a college campus, the chances are high that a student is certified to do them and charges well under $100. I get mine done for $60 and leave happy with the work done every time.

5. You can go bare-faced and still feel flawless.

I have never woken up and felt so gorgeous right after stumbling out of bed. Lash extensions really give you an extra boost of confidence in feeling like you don't even want to bother with putting on makeup for the day.

6. You will need to wash your face in the sink, not the shower. 

You can get your lashes wet, but water coming forcefully out of a showerhead directly onto your lashes is not good for them. Makeup wipes and a careful face cleaning in the sink will take care of all your facial needs while avoiding causing damage to your lashes. I still use face masks when I have mine done!

7. Check the ingredients in your makeup removing products. 

To remove makeup, I LOVE using coconut oil. If you have lash extensions you should NOT use coconut oil. In fact, when your down to the last few lashes and are ready for them to come off, use coconut oil on a cotton ball and gently rub it along your lash line. Certain oils breakdown the glue used for lash extensions, so be aware of them before using them on your eye makeup.

8. Some people will truly believe they are your natural lashes. 

Here are some responses for their inquiries:

"I wish."

"Lash extensions, 10/10 recommend."

"I woke up like this."

9. You will need to sleep pretty. 

I have a tendency to sleep on my face. A tendency which I soon broke after getting lash extensions. You will have to learn to stay on your side or lay on your back so you don't rub all of your extensions out in the night.

WARNING: Be extra cautious on a night out where adult beverages were consumed. Ruining your lashes by drunkenly rubbing or sleeping on your face may cause heavy lash-loss.

10. They last about two to three weeks.

I have found that mine stay in pretty thick up until about 2.5 weeks. If you are careful, they could definitely still look flawless pushing week three.

11. They aren't damaging to your real lashes.

As long as you go to a licensed lash tech and aren't rubbing your face or pulling your lashes out, your natural lashes are safe and sound!

12. Once you get them done, you'll be going back for more.

It's not an addiction. And if it is, I don't think there is an issue to being addicted to feeling great about your lashes!

Making your lash appointment now? I figured.

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