Dear Little One,

As a 21-year-old college student who is terribly single and extremely career focused, you are the last thing on my list of plans right now. But you're on there! I don't know when, or where, or how you'll come about- but I know it will be the right time, the right way, and the right place. No matter what, there's so much I want to tell you.

First- mommy loves you so much. No matter what. Even on the days that I may get frustrated, or quiet, or silly- you will always be my priority, as soon as you're here. Even if you break the vase on the dining room table, or stay out past curfew, or fail a biology test- nothing will ever stop me from loving you.

You are allowed to be whoever you want to be. Boy, girl, neither, or somewhere in between; gay, straight, bi, however you identify; teacher, astronaut, artist- you follow every dream you have, every person you love, and everything you feel. You never need to hide a single thing from me, ever. I will not only support you in your decisions but aid you in making them. You should know by now that Mommy knows everything.

Except mommy doesn't actually know everything. In fact, one of her favorite things to do is learn, and I am so excited to learn through you. Each and every day I will learn something from you, not only as you grow personally but as the world changes around us, and you're doing things in school that I can't even fathom right now.

Its okay to be sad sometimes, by the way. You don't always have to be okay- that's something mommy took a long, long time to learn. That it's ok to not be ok, and it's okay to be sad, or angry, or hurt, or sick. Not only can you feel these things, but you can always ask for help- from me, or from friends, from your aunt's and uncles and anyone that you love and trust. We are all here to help you.

Even here and now little one, when you aren't even a thought in my head right now, you are loved. I talk with my friends about playdates with their future kids, about how you're going to grow up in such a kind, and loving, and supportive house. Everything I am doing now in college, I am doing to start my future- to secure myself, my future partner, and my future family- that's you! I am going to be so, so good to you, my angel. That does not mean I will ever be perfect. But I hope you can come to me, and trust me, and know that you are never alone. Ever.

Love, Mommy (Circa 2018)