Hi, it's been a while. I have thought about you a lot these past two months, I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to drive those 3 mins to your front door and give you a piece of my mind. Not because I don't understand why you did what you did..I do, but because I don't think you realized the severity of the situation. I don't know if you cried yourself to sleep most nights since that day, but I have. I can't stop feeling like this was not how we were supposed to end, a relationship like ours doesn't just end like that..at least I thought. I think about all the memories we made throughout the 5 1/2 years in each other's lives and families.
I think about the times when I would spend the night at your house and we would laugh so loud we would get in trouble, or the conversations we would have at 3 in the morning that no one would ever know about but us. Or how we would dream about the day we would walk across that stage and we'd do it together, I never would have thought that a month to the day would have been the end of us. It's hard to believe that we won't get to celebrate our 21st, or see anymore concerts or experience any college parties together. I remember the day we talked about how we were going to raise our kids together and how you were dead set on me having kids first so you could be the cool Aunt, and I was determined not to have any first. I'll never forget the crazy things we would get into, the conversations we had, or the memories we made. You were my ride or die...my person.
No our relationship wasn't perfect, but what relationship is? I would give anything to argue with you again...if I would have know the last time I cringed when you hugged me was going to be the last time, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have done a lot of things I did, had I known. I wish we would have gotten over that argument faster, communicated better, spent more time together.
You're about to start college, I'm so sad I don't get to hear about your first day. I wish I knew how you were doing, how your summer is going, or how the cruise went. I'm even more upset that I don't know those answers, because at one point I would have known that and more. Our lives are changing more and more as the days go on, and we are learning how to do it with out each other. I don't know if we will ever be best-friends or even talk again, but whenever your kids see that tattoo on your wrist, tell them all about it and how much I hope they succeed. Just because this has happened..don't think you can never talk to me again. If you are ever in need of someone to talk to, or you need some help in the middle of the night...I'm just one call or text away.
I love you to the moon and back kid,
Me.
