It's been almost two whole months since you made your way to heaven. I miss you. It hurts, of course, I knew it would. Until this year, I've never experienced death. I've never known someone personally that has passed away. I've heard people talk about death. They say it hurts. But, I never could understand how much it actually hurts. It still hurts, so much. I've never experienced emotions like this. Absolutely devastating. Gut-wrenching. It's like I can't breathe and the whole world is spinning around me, but I'm completely still. Every time I think about you, I smile to myself because your legacy deserves it. You have sacrificed so much. So much that I'll never know, but I'll appreciate its effects anyways.
It fills me with a sense of guilt, that I could have spent more time with you. Even when I was there, was I really there. I hope you know that I love you. That I listen to. That I laughed when you cried at holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays, looking at everything making up your legacy. I didn't appreciate it, I'm young, I get it. I guess I have a sense of infallibility, like so many people my age. I'm invincible, nothing can stop me, it happens to other people, not me. But it did. And I've seen the breadth of your accomplishments and I'm so proud to be a part of it.
A beautiful wife. Five children. Seven grandchildren. A house. An apartment. Land back home. And so many lessons I've learned from you: working hard, no matter what life throws at you. You take it, adapt, and overcome. Education is the way to move up and to make it. I hope I can make it.
When I was tasked with writing your eulogy, I couldn't believe it. I didn't feel the least bit qualified. I knew you for 19 years, but you were alive for 86. How could I possibly sum up your wonderful, vibrant, and beautiful life? That's why I didn't try. I just told everyone what you mean to me. How proud you were of me for playing all those tennis tournaments, how proud you were of me for going to Fordham, and studying "as hard as I do". But, I realize now that being able to write for you was incredible. I hope you liked it and I hope you read it when you have the chance.
So, you're not here anymore. We are all devastated. We miss you. I think about you every day and I want you to know that I love you so much. I hope you're doing well. Rest in perfect peace grandpa.
