Everyone says that working in retail is pretty much the worst. There have been countless movies made about working retail jobs and I'm sure you've heard your friends' complaints. And if you haven't experienced either of those and don't work in retail, you've at least gone shopping and been to a store and dealt with retail employees and witnessed difficult customers/situations. If you haven't done that, 1) I don't know why you're reading this and 2) I'm not even sure you're a real human because there's no way you've never done that. In any case, there are certain things that retail employees just can't stand or are just plain tired of hearing, so please spare us the next time you're shopping by reading further.
*Disclaimer: I actually very much enjoy working in retail, but I am human and get irritated easily. This is also meant to be funny. I'm a sarcastic person, okay? Anyway, enjoy!
1. "Do you work here?"
No, actually I just think that this lanyard is pretty and I frequently forget my name. Yes, I work here. I'm sorry but if you're staring right at me and I'm wearing the uniform and putting things in their proper places on shelves, I work here. Please instead just say "excuse me" and ask me your question.
2. "Are you open?"
Well, the numbered light pillar is on and I'm standing behind the register. It's not that difficult to put the pieces together that I'm open. It saves you a minute and it saves me one too if you just come into my line and I'll be sure to greet you with a friendly smile and an enthusiastic "Hello!".
3. Not saying that you might have change.
When you hand me enough cash to cover your total and don't let me know that you're going to try to find the change at the bottom of your purse or pants pocket I'm going to assume you've finished and start to get your change. All this really means is that I have to do some mental math, but no one likes doing that, so please just let me know you have the change. Please.
4. "That's expensive."
You know, I might actually agree with your opinion, but when you complain to me about how much something is in the store I can't do anything about it. My manager can't do anything about it either. Plus, if you think it's too expensive, why are you purchasing it?
5. Me: "Hel-" You: "My phone number is..."
If the store you're at has a rewards program, please don't blurt out your information or shove the card at me. I'm just trying to give you a pleasant shopping experience, but when you blatantly ignore us, I'm not going to want to anymore. I mean, I'm still going to try and I'll still smile and tell you to have a nice day, but I won't want to.
6. Talk about the weather (especially if it's nice out).
This one isn't too horrendous because I know you're just trying to make conversation, but I've been working for a few hours already, so no I don't know how beautiful it is outside. I wish I did, but I don't. This just hurts us inside.
7. Explaining why you're not making a donation.
Many stores ask for donations for various charities but I don't need to know why you chose not to make a donation. I just have to ask the question, it's not my own personal charity. I'm not going to judge you for saying no because I say no, too, sometimes. I get it. But I don't need to hear a 5 minute story about why you just can't donate today. Just push the button.
8. "It doesn't scan so it's free!"
Just... just, no. Yes, you're making a joke. But it's also been made a thousand times and you're the sixth person today. It gets old.
9. Questioning store policy.
Again, I'm not going to be able to do anything. If you have a problem with one or more of the store's policies call headquarters. Just because you tell me that it should be a different way doesn't mean that I can wave my magic wand and fix it for you. I'm the bottom of the food chain here.
So next time you're shopping please keep this list in mind, for the sake of your retail employees' sanity. Thank you and have a nice day!
