There’s no denying Kanye West is one of, if not the most intriguing and extravagant character in modern pop culture. It seems like we can’t go to the grocery store, check the news, go to the bathroom, or check our watches without hearing about him to some degree. From his controversial music, to his controversial wife, to his controversial opinions, he has always been a wild one. But what are the craziest things Kanye has ever done? Here is the definitive list.
1. That time he ran up to the stage during the 2000 Presidential Inauguration to defend Al Gore
If you saw it, you know for sure that you won’t forget it! Nothing on live television compared to when President Bush was being inaugurated in as president, and you saw Kanye running through the crowd to grab the microphone and say, “I’m going to let you begin your term, Mr. President, but Al Gore should have won this election. The results from Florida, a major swing state, were equivocal to say the least. I’m upset by the way this was handled. Is this the democracy our forefathers intended to hand down to us?” The look on George W’s face!
2. That time he tried to destroy a building quicker than a bulldozer could
It was a bold move for Kanye to challenge a bulldozer to see who could destroy a building first, and when he ran at that building and slammed into it with his shoulder with all his might, we all held our breath and asked, “Will he actually do it?” But alas, the building remained completely unharmed. Kanye, however, retained his dignity by spitting at the bulldozer and telling it to appreciate art instead of destroying it.
3. That time he released an album that made someone’s head explode
Ever since the dawn of civilization, scientists have believed that humans could handle any amount of artistic genius. That was until Yeezus hit the scene, of course. This was the album that defied convention, stretched boundaries, and literally made a man’s head explode due to an overflow of sheer, unadulterated, luminescent artistic brilliance that could only come from a man like Kanye West. Make sure you talk to your doctor before listening to Kanye!
4. That time he wanted to relive the birth of his daughter, so he jumped, flew so quickly in the opposite direction of the spin of the earth that time itself reversed, and was able to relive the experience
With his tough-guy facial hair, his “don’t mess with me” resting bitch face, and egomania that extends further than the greatest galaxies, it’s easy to assume Kanye doesn’t have a soft side. But the whole world, along with various living organisms on Mars, let out a collective “awwww” when we saw Kanye fly like Superman in the opposite direction of the spin of the Earth, ruining the space-time continuum permanently, just to be there once again for the birth of his daughter.
5. That time he won a game of checkers against Kim but it was the greatest and most important game of checkers in the entire history of the world
Kanye has done some pretty impressive things, and some would even argue that he is writing history. One thing we tend to forget, however, is when he played a game of checkers with his wife and totally beat her, and it was the most incredible and crucial game of checkers that ever was, and that there was no denying even for a second that Kanye West is the undisputed champion of checkers for all eternity to come.
6. That time he made Paul McCartney famous
There is a common misconception by the younger generation that the new single by Kanye West, “Only One” brought Paul McCartney into the mainstream. Paul McCartney has been famous for more than half a century now, but it wasn’t the single “Only One” that did it. When Paul McCartney was in the early stages of being a Beatle and couldn’t think of a song to write, he would close his eyes real tight, and the spirit of Kanye West from the future would come to him and whisper to him the artistic innovation that led Paul to become one of the greatest songwriters of all time.
7. That time he firmly denied the existence of Spongebob-shaped macaroni & cheese, and it disappeared from all existence
It’s true that “Gangnam Style” is the most-watched YouTube video of all time, but right behind it is the absolutely jaw-dropping video of Kanye sitting across the table from a box of Spongebob-shaped macaroni and cheese, looking at it intently, and saying, “I deny your existence. You are not real” and it completely vanishing. We all had absolutely no idea what he had been talking to in the first place! Absolutely stunning, but we expect nothing less from the one and only Mr. West.
8. That time he created Oregon and Washington
America has been a proud country for centuries now, but we had always been missing a Northwestern region of the country. Many felt that there should be something North of California, but also West of Idaho. It just didn’t feel right with that giant gap that separated California and Canada. But the magical sperm of Kanye solved all that when in June 2013, Kim Kardashian bore his beautiful daughter, Oregon and Washington. Tacoma and Salem thank you, Kanye, for all you’ve done.