7 Pet Peeves Of A Germaphobe

7 Pet Peeves Of A Germaphobe

Admit it, these gross you out too.
Livia
Livia
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I'll admit it. I'm a germaphobe.

If you got sick as often as I did you'd be one too. Not to sound like a wacko, but going out in public can be gross sometimes. If you're a germaphobe like me these thoughts probably go through your head on a daily basis.

1. Door handles

Truthfully, if I'm about to enter a building at school and there's someone walking in front of me, I'll pick up the pace to make it in the door behind them so I don't have to touch the door handle that thousands of other sick, non-handwashing, nasty college kids have touched today.

2. People coughing and sneezing

I feel like this should be a given and is just respectful, common knowledge that you should sneeze into your arm and not cough on everyone around you. Unfortunately, I'm reminded that I'm wrong when the person next to me coughs a tornado my way, or sneezes into their hands, then asks to borrow my pencil with their mucus-covered paws.

3. Dressing room floors

This one I really don't understand. I could shop, and I mean shop all day. But dirty dressing rooms that haven't been cleaned since the store first opened screams unsanitary and is not a pleasurable shopping experience. It's not very hard to sweep the 3x3 dressing room stall a couple times a week or throw a Lysol wipe around.

4. Really any floor, actually

Speaking of dressing room floors, I'm such a germaphobe I won't put my purse down on the dressing room floor, public bathroom floor, and even in classrooms. Call it snobby, but it grosses me out when people leave their purse around everywhere, then throw it on their bed when they get home.

5. Public toilet seats

This is a huge one. Good thing I was a catcher for 8 years because lord knows I'm not sitting on any toilet seat that's not my own. Squatting has become my best friend, and I'll leave it at that.

6. Unwrapped straws at restaurants

As a server, I'm guilty of contributing to this, but hear me out for a minute. Bartenders and servers run around all shift like a chicken with their head cut off. Most are lucky if they wash their hands 2-3 times a night (except me, as I am hand sanitizing every other second). They are touching money, dirty plates, pens that everyone and their mother has been handling, and so on. Then when it comes time to make your drink they grab an unwrapped straw and place it into the drink that you'll directly drink out of... eww!

7. Wearing shoes in a bedroom

Maybe this one gets to me because my mom always taught us to take our shoes off as soon as we enter someone's house, but I don't understand the reasoning behind wanting to keep shoes on inside a house when you could be comfy?? Remember all those gross floors, and areas I previously mentioned — yup, your shoes are tracking all those heebyjeebies and more into your house and bedroom when you walk around with shoes on inside. And don't get me started with people that sit on couches or beds with shoes on.

I hope this article could relate to my fellow germaphobes, and for those of you who could care less, maybe you'll at least wash your hands more often now?

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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I Would Advise You To Keep My Name Out Of Your Mouth If You Have Never Met Me

College is hard enough without having to endure drama from people you've never met.

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The first year of college is one of the most trying times for anyone. It's the first time that you're fully independent of your parents, where you have to wake yourself up for your classes because your roommate probably doesn't have your exact schedule, you eat when the spirit moves you, and you prioritize your time in any way you want. College is a time of growth, where you leave behind your 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. high school experience and have to start over.

Yet, I've realized that some people can't leave high school behind, and bring with them the petty drama and unnecessary rumors that littered the halls of high school and spread like wildfire. There is a consistent stream of gossip and preconceived notions that ruin a potential future relationship between two people, all because someone decided that a rumor they heard about someone else was worth sharing.

I understand why people hold on to the drama that is caused when other people decide to gossip. But, for the people who learn about their reputation from their friends, because someone decided to share it with them and, being a good friend, they told them what someone had said, it's hard. College is the first time where you get to go out on your own and live life as a semi-functioning adult, and no one wants to be dragged back to their high school experience.

For the people who bring high school to college with them and the people who believe rumors about someone even if they haven't met that person, you need to get over yourself. It is not fair to the people about whom you're talking. Imagine if it happened to you. College is a challenging time, the coursework is more difficult and there is no one there to tell you what to do with your time. It is hard enough to balance academic coursework with a social life and extracurricular activities, not including being able to maintain strong mental health. Although it can be heartbreaking to hear rumors that have been said, it can show you who your true friends are. There are a lot of people you meet when starting college who seem like they could be your best friends, but as soon as you turn your back, they're whispering about you. There is no doubt in my mind that my close friends would be the first to speak up on my behalf if they heard something negative about me. And that means more to me than a reputation.

It's easier said than done not to let rumors and other people's perception affect you. The difference being let it hurt you and accepting that there's nothing you can do are two very separate things. But what other people think of you is something that is entirely outside of your control, and all that you can really do is decide not to let it be known that it bothers you. You have every right to be upset if you hear something negative about yourself, especially if it isn't true or something you did has been blown out of proportion. There is no definitive list of traits that a person can have to be strong, and there is not a list of actions that you can take in order to move on from being hurt by rumors. But the most important thing that you can do for yourself is to move on. To make sure that you are happy and comfortable in your own skin. It may seem like a burden to fully accept yourself and like every single thing about yourself. No one is perfect.

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