It will come as no surprise to those of you who know me when I say that I am an incredibly indecisive person. It's so difficult for me to choose a "favorite" of anything that I often avoid doing so altogether. However, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice is where I make my exception.
If you have not read the novel or watched [*WARNING: potentially controversial opinion ahead] the only acceptable and accurate film adaptation, you are missing out on a timeless masterpiece of wit, satire, and love. P&P's leading lady, Elizabeth Bennet, is a literary heroine unlike any other of her time. Strong, independent, loyal, and confident, Lizzy has the power to teach anyone, anywhere a few extremely valuable life lessons.
1. Recognize and learn from your past mistakes.
"But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."
While Elizabeth struggles a bit with pride, it is not her tragic flaw as it is Darcy's. Thus she is able to come to terms with her past prejudices and change her mindset moving forward.
Throughout the entire novel, we see her struggle to let go of her judgmental perceptions of others that she has built up and solidified over time. Her eventual willingness to humble herself and change is truly an impressive and inspirational quality.
2. Stand up and speak up for yourself and for what you believe in.
"I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me."
Whether she's defending herself against Caroline's backhanded comments or correcting her mother's ridiculous rants and accusations, Lizzy is not one to remain silent when something needs to be said.
Perhaps the best example of this trait appears in almost every Elizabeth-Darcy interaction, during which she unashamedly informs him without hesitation of his thoughtless and harsh behavior towards her and her loved ones.
3. Hold on to your fierce independence and unwavering confidence.
"Do not consider me now as an elegant female intending to plague you, but as a rational creature speaking the truth from her heart."
Elizabeth does not define herself by her relationships, and she especially does not find her identity in searching for a future husband. She focuses on picking up the pen and writing her own story without dependency on others.
She embraces every decision, good and bad, with admirable self-confidence and finds a way to remain independent and empowered in a society that does not leave much room for her to do so.
4. Resist others' attempts to define expectations or to determine your potential.
"Upon my word, Sir...your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. -- You could not make me happy."
Elizabeth knows her place, but she is a far cry from a "perfect" example of a lady in nineteenth century English society. Just one example of such behavior comes when she refuses a marriage proposal (shocking enough in and of itself) from the man set to inherit her father's estate, thus putting her family in a bit of an uncomfortable situation, to say the least. While she respects the needs of others, Lizzy is never afraid to speak up and shape her own future.
5. Commit to the quality of enduring loyalty, especially when it comes to family.
"When I consider...that I might have prevented it! I who knew what he was. Had I but explained some part of it only -- some part of what I learnt, to my own family! Had his character been known, this could not have happened."
With an irrationally impetuous mother and a couple of silly sisters, Elizabeth has a lot to handle on the home front. There are a decent amount of awkward moments out and about with her family, and yet her steadfast loyalty to loved ones shines through even in the most embarrassing of times. When Lydia becomes scandalously involved with Mr. George Wickham, Elizabeth drops everything to rush home. She evens goes so far as to take on the burden of others' mistakes.
6. Ignore what others may think of you.
"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.”
As we have already made clear several times, Elizabeth is not afraid to speak her mind or to take action as she sees fit. When her sister Jane is sick at Netherfield, Elizabeth sets out to visit her on foot, giving no thought whatsoever as to how the Bingley sisters and Darcy would receive her in her muddy and less-than-ladylike appearance. Although her choices may not be sensible in the eyes of others, Elizabeth couldn't care less.
7. Know what you want, stand by it, and never settle.
"I am determined that only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony."
There is never a time when Elizabeth considers for even a second the idea of settling for less than what she knows she wants and deserves. Almost every single voice in her life is telling her that her ultimate goal should not only be to marry, but to marry well.
Elizabeth vows to marry only for love and refuses to settle for any less. She may have had to go through a few ups and downs to get there, but I think that we can all agree that Mr. Darcy was worth waiting for.
