Introversion is a personality trait in which a person’s energy comes from within themselves. Introverts are usually focused on their internal thoughts, feelings or moods instead of constantly needing external stimulation. Because of this, we often seem unnecessarily shy or standoffish. It’s hard for us to come out and say the things on our mind, so I think I can speak for many, if not all, introverts when I say these are 7 things we wish extroverts could understand about us:
1. I’m not antisocial, I just need “me-time.” Often.
There are periods of time where I will not leave my room for days, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with my friends, just that every now and then I need time to focus on me. I’m happy being by myself. It gives me the opportunity to take a breath and prepare myself for my next task or responsibility. I enjoy being around people from time to time, of course, but I don’t require interaction very often.
2. I have to make plans in advance.
A lot of the time if you text me asking to hang out in an hour, the answer will be no. I make plans days in advance, sometimes even weeks, and it’s hard for me to change that schedule. Even if I’m just going to be laying in bed watching TV for the night, I most likely planned my entire day around that alone time. Every once in a while I’m down for a spontaneous adventure, though, so don’t be afraid to ask!
3. Just because I’m not always in the mood to hang out, doesn’t mean that the invitation isn’t appreciated.
I’ve lost a lot of extroverted friends simply because they give up very easily on asking me to hang out. However, some of my best friends are in my life because they were persistent in getting me out of my shell. It makes me happy when someone wants to spend time with me, even if I’m not exactly in the mood. Conversely, it upsets me to see a group of my friends going out and doing something together without even inviting me, even if I would have opted out anyway. Sometimes I do get lonely, and it’s nice to have friends who will still be there for me when I’m ready to come out of hiding.
4. I have RBF and it’s really not my fault.
I may look not look enthused or like I’m having a good time at all, but really I’m just taking everything in. Chronic Resting Bitch Face (RBF) combined with my generally quiet nature often make people think I’m a snob. In reality, there’s just a lot going on in my mind and I express it internally. No matter what kind of day I’m having, my facial expression usually remains the same.
5. Socializing, especially in large groups, is draining.
Partying is not my thing. Hanging out with more than three people at a time is not my thing. Even if I’m having a great time, being around a lot of people is exhausting. I’m not good at talking to people I don’t know, especially in a party-type environment. I’m an interesting person, but around that many people I turn awkward.
6. I prefer one-on-one conversations.
Small talk is not something I’m good at, but if you can get me involved in a deep one-on-one conversation, you’ll be surprised at how much I’ll talk. I like picking peoples’ brains and learning about them, and that’s easier to do when I’m alone with one or two people than in a big group. Even when I’m at a party, I’ll end up running off somewhere with a couple close friends to talk or even just sit and listen to music. I like being able to give all my focus to one conversation.
7. I am completely content with being me.
There are definitely days when I wish I was an extrovert. I wish I could go out every weekend with a big group of friends, get all dressed up and jump from party to party, but being an introvert makes me the awesome person that I am. I’m the type of person who takes things one day at a time, giving me the chance to stop and enjoy everything I experience. My friends know they can always come to me because I’m one of the best listeners around, and in return they do the same for me. Although, my favorite thing about being an introvert is that I spend enough time alone to comfortably enjoy my own company.
I love the person I am, and my true friends do as well. I’d never be able to tell the extroverts in my life any of this in person, but the ones who really care about me already sort of know. You can’t expect me to be an extrovert. Ever. But I promise I’ll be the best introverted friend I can be.
