Being an interracial couple is hard. It's not hard for me and it's not hard for my boyfriend, but it's hard for everyone else. These are just a few things I get a little too tired of.
1. The Stares
This is probably my number one pet peeve. Yes, I am a white girl, that is my boyfriend beside me, and YES, he is black. Whether it be a Sunday afternoon grocery shopping, a weekday at the gym, a Friday evening at a restaurant, or just sitting at a stoplight while driving, we get stares. Let me remind everyone that we are all humans and at the end of the day, you are not better than anyone else. On a side note, if you give me a dirty look or stare too long, I’ll make sure you get a front row seat to the big kiss I plant on my boyfriend, and then I’ll give you a friendly smile or wave.
2. The Questions
“How does your family feel about your black boyfriend?”
“Are you planning to have kids with him?... You do realize your children will be mixed, right?”
“Are you only attracted to black men?”
“Have you ever dated someone of your same race before?”
“Do people stare at you?”
I would sit here and answer these questions for you guys, but let’s be real: I love my boyfriend and that is not going to change. Your opinions and curiosity do not make me feel any differently nor will they ever sway me into thinking a certain way. And really, are you actually asking because you’re truly curious or are you just trying to judge me behind questions? I am well aware of all of the struggles interracial couples go through because *news flash* I’m in one!
3. My Future Children
I plan on having children but not for your pleasure or fetish. I get it, mixed babies are super cute… but what baby isn’t super cute?! So let’s just keep this one short and sweet -- don’t make my unborn children your obsession.
4. The "Compliments"
Often I will run into someone who tells me how brave I am to be out in public with my black boyfriend. “Good for you!” they’ll say. "I dated a black man once!" "You guys are the so inspiring and are proof of ending racism." While I know some people are just trying to be nice and supportive, I really wish our relationship wasn’t looked at as two races coming together in a world that is definitely still racist, but rather looked at as just love… because that’s really all it is. And for those of you sitting there thinking in your head that racism is a thing of the past, I advise you to do some research and learn more about the world around you. I am surrounded by white people who believe that racism is gone simply because they choose not to associate themselves with it and those same white people are the ones I find staring at me while I walk through the grocery store with my boyfriend. Just because you choose to deny the issues does not mean they go away!
5. The Whispers
Yeah, I hear you. I can see you talking about me. I can feel you talking about me. If you’re lucky, I’ll even wave and identify myself to your friend so you don’t have to point at me any longer. This is just a part of our daily life. It’s like high school all over again but instead of a pimple on my face, it’s my relationship that startles you. Just stop.
6. Love is Love is Love is Love.
I could say this a million more times and some people will still never see it that way, but that’s OK. Since you’re labeling my relationship, I guess I can label you as ignorant and misinformed. See, my relationship has different perspectives to different people, but to me, it is two humans in love. That’s all that matters to me and that's the only thing that should matter to you.