I'm an adult, but only in the loosest sense of the word. By definition I am an adult, but honestly, I don't understand how to "adult." I asked around and put together a list of things that most college students don't know how to do as an adult.
1. Answering the phone
This may seem like something everyone should be able to do, but it really isn't. I'm not sure how real adults look at unknown number and decide to answer it because it "could be Linda from work." Expecting a call to be from anyone but a solicitor is a total adult move.
2. Making appointments
This also might seem like a mundane, easy task, but the amount of planning that goes into making an appointment is under-appreciated. "Hi, yes, I'd like to make an appointment for Nov. 3, 2017 at 3:00." I mean seriously? How do you know your schedule well enough to decide you're not busy that far in advance???
3. Finding a doctor
On that same note, how do you find a doctor to go to so you can make your appointments a year in advance? Is there a "look at all these lovely, trusted doctors" meeting? A poster maybe? With my luck, I'll probably end up in a shack on the side of the house because they promised it would be cheap.
4. Grocery shopping
I'm not saying I've never been grocery shopping, but I've never had to survive on my own grocery shopping. Sure, I can run to the store and pick out some chips for the barbecue, but having to buy food for an entire weeks worth of meals? Uh, yeah, no. I'll probably come back with Eggo Waffles, Lunchables and some mac and cheese.
5. How to buy expensive things
Like a house. Or a car. Or pretty much anything that costs more money than I have (anything over $20 right now but that's beside the point). Yeah, OK, there's something to do with loans and banks and down-payments, and I've heard those words before, but I have no idea how to handle any of them. Do you think they take hugs as payments?
6. Taxes
Yeah, I'm not even gonna touch this topic. I have no idea what's going on here or how I'm supposed to even address this. Boo, taxes.
So, long story short — I have no idea what's going on with this whole adult thing, and neither does anyone I asked. But hey, don't worry. I'm really, really good at memorizing equations that I'll never use. I love being an adult.
