Sex and the City fans are devastated after learning that the third film installment of the beloved television series is not happening. Former cast members, Sarah Jessica Parker and Willie Garson shaded in a subtle fashion that fellow co-star Kim Cattrall was to blame for ending the project. Garson elaborated on Twiiter, alluding to an alleged rumor that Cattrall delayed the project's takeoff, negotiated contracts for 6 months and failed to follow terms of agreement.
Since Warner Brothers shelved the film's script indefinitely, let's re-imagine how the show can still go on without Ms. Cattrall.
1. Samantha moved to China and cannot receive United States social media sites.
Since Google, Facebook and Instagram are prohibited by China's strict government, Samantha is dramatically cut off from her New York pals. She is not tech savvy and does not have enough knowledge to jump over the firewall. As a result she is neither seen or heard from throughout the entirety of the film.
2. Samantha went under drastic plastic surgery, leaving her unrecognizable.
This plot-line can utilized any talented actress or celebrity who can mimic Kim Cattrall's smooth and sultry way of speaking. Christina Aguilera nailed the impression on an episode of Saturday Night Live.
3. Samantha moved to Los Angeles and became a film/television star.
Samantha Jones finally realized her passionate love for acting and flew to Los Angeles for her big break. She is so busy due to auditions, shooting schedules and publicity duties, she has no time to socialize with Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte. In addition, there could be scenes in which footage of Kim Cattrall films play in the background.
4. The film jumps 40 years into the future and Samantha is dead.
The film can open with Samantha's funeral and transition into a Golden Girls meets Steel Magnolias dramedy.
5. Samantha joined a cult.
After losing faith in humanity, brought on by an unjust ,anxiety-inducing political climate, Samantha abandons her life in New York City and now lives in a hippie-commune. She dyed her hair brown, wears no makeup and traded her beloved Versace blouses for recycled tattered fabrics.
6. Samantha is imprisoned.
With an unsatisfied love-life, Samantha adopts a new hobby, reminiscent of Winona Ryder circa 2002. The adrenaline rush that derives from stealing the smallest of objects insidiously grew into a serious addiction. After an intervention in Charlotte's apartment, Samantha turns herself in and is now serving time behind bars.
