This week marks the beginning of my last semester on Cardinal Hill. Upon reflection of my time on this beautifully flawed campus and discussing with some other graduating seniors, I've discovered many unanswered questions that I'd like answered before I go about officially becoming a full-fledged adult, leaving our beloved campus behind. Whoever has the answers -- faculty, staff, students or administration -- please let us know!
1. What’s with the tunnel underneath Jewell Hall?
2. Why is there less espresso in campus made drinks than those at an actual Starbucks?
3. Why are the classrooms and dorms always too hot or too cold, never a comfortable temperature?
4. When is that reason going to be fixed?
5. Why do we give out more scholarship money in sports than in academics?
6. Why does Marston have zero bathrooms?
7. Why doesn’t Jones have 3 pronged plugins?
8. Who decided to place every important building on the top of a hill, but the closest parking at the very bottom?
9. Why are there never actually classes on the ground floor?
10. How does the freshman 15 still exist with the amount of exercise required just to get to class?
11. Why does the caf offer to-go boxes, but not to go cups?
12. Why aren’t there straws in the caf?
13. Do we not care about dental hygiene?
14. Why do we pay $40,000 for off-brand cereal?
15. What do we even use the fancy Executive Suite for?
16. Why are all the books in said suite fake?
17. Am I actually allowed to spend as much time up there as I do?
18. Why aren’t any of the coffee shops open 24/7?
19. Is campus safety actually allowed to issue tickets on Jewell Street?
20. Is that even in their jurisdiction?
21. Do they have some kind of personal vendetta against student parking?
22. Why does every class require a $200+ textbook?
23. Why do most classes never actually use those required books?
24. Why aren’t there designated commuter parking spaces?
The commuter parking lot is always overrun by campus dwellers.
25. Why doesn’t every professor use Moodle?
26. Do professors have meetings to schedule due dates on the same days at the same times, or does that just happen by chance?
27. Why must every paper printed on campus require printing credits?
28. Can the health clinic be open on hours outside of class?
30.Why can’t we use our meal swipes on sandwiches, croissants or Lunchables in the PLC?
31. On a scale of 1-10, how haunted is Jewell Hall?
32. Why can’t we use Starbucks gift cards in the Perch or Beak?
33. Who decided which floors in the PLC would be silent?
34. Is it possible to enforce that silence at all?
35. Why does class registration feel similar to Black Friday Shopping?
36. Can’t we leave the Christmas lights up all year round?
37. Why aren’t there more opportunities for free t-shirts?
38. What does it take to get a hold of one of those go-carts?
39. Can I bring my own?
40. Exactly how much trouble would one get in for swimming in the fountain?
Asking for a friend.
41. Why are we a dry campus when we’re forced to live in on-campus housing?
42. Can we get some cooking classes in here?
I’ll be able to compare and contrast deep scholarly arguments on most any topic when I leave, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to properly feed myself.
43. Is the elevator in Jewell Hall actually safe to use?
44. Is it really necessary to make attendance a part of my grade?
If I don't show up, it'll reflect in my grades anyway, right?
45. Why is Career Planning not a required course?
46. Do professors actually read all the papers, or just kind of base the grade off of in-class performance?
I've received one too many high marks on below average papers late in the semester.