50 Joe Kenda Quotes
Start writing a post
Entertainment

50 (More) Joe Kenda Quotes In Honor Of The Last Season Of 'Homicide Hunter'

"I didn't get the chance to shove my gun up this guy's nostril, and that disappoints me."

9261
50 (More) Joe Kenda Quotes In Honor Of The Last Season Of 'Homicide Hunter'
Investigation Discovery

All good things come to an end eventually, and sadly that time has come for Investigation Discovery's "Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda." Joe Kenda always has great quotes and one-liners while talking about the cases he worked on over the years. The show is so addicting because of Lt. Kenda's dry sense of humor and blatant answers.

Here are 50 (more) humorous and insightful Lieutenant Joe Kenda quotes all #IDAddicts need in their lives:

1. “This is why humans are so difficult to understand and so dangerous to behold.”

2. “At the beginning of this case, we were chasing ghosts. They’re not ghosts anymore.” 

3. “What could a child possibly say or do that would warrant a violent death? Nothing.” 

4. “It seems that somebody threw James Joseph Perry out of a 10th floor window of an apartment building in the Bronx. And he didn’t mount so good. Well, my, my, my.” 

5. “I’ve always thought there is no such thing as a coincidence. They’re always suspicious. They happen more than once, they become evidence.”

6. “It adds up to one word: suspect. And that, my man, would be you.” 

7. “This is not from a traffic accident. This is not from running into a building. It’s from running into a bullet.”

8. “I’d go back tomorrow, but it’s a young man’s game… And I’m no longer young.”

9. “Cases can go cold. Not because the perpetrator is a genius. Because they’re just lucky.” 

10. “In a case of sexual assault, it’s often ritualistic. The crime has nothing to do with sexual gratification. It’s about the punishment of women." 

11. “He wanted to break up with her anyway, her disappearance has solved that problem for him. That’s his story.” 

12. “I was always annoyed when I was in these budgetary meetings. I signed up to kick doors and pull guns on people, and I’m good at that. I didn’t sign up to read spreadsheets… I looked down at that pager, it said 911, and my thought was “bless you.” I just got out of this meeting."

13. “They run home. Just like they’ve done since the time they were three, they run home.” 

14. “I heard a woman crying. I am a policeman, but I am also a human being, and there’s a natural instinct that you want to help someone in tears.”

15. "That surprised me... I don’t like surprises.” 

16. “The officers try a normal knock, they don’t get a response… So, next, we try a police knock.”

17. “When he said to me this started over a girl, my interest was immediately peaked. The sex drive is a very powerful emotion. More than enough to cause somebody to pull a gun.”  

18. “I didn’t get the chance to shove my gun up this guy’s nostril, and that disappoints me.” 

19. “Come on down. You are the next contestant on ‘The Murder Is Right.’” 

20. “The only thing that Craig is sure of is that he’s reasonably certain this is North America.”  

21. "Emotion: it begins at a high level. Then add some more to it. Add some more disputes, add some more reasons. It doesn’t take long to reach a boiling point.” 

22. “A large caliber weapon leaves an entry wound the size of a dime and exits the size of a cash register.” 

23. “If you lie to me, you don’t make me angry. You insult me. Don’t sit there and think that you’re smarter than me because you’re not.” 

24. “She says, ‘you know why I remember him? …  He was loud, he was profane, that guy was an asshole.’ And I thought, ‘well, I’m looking for one of those.’"

25. "If I can't see your hands, you're gonna see a gun." 

26. "My b.s. alarm is sounding loud and clear… and flashing bright." 

27. “Animals kill for need, humans kill for pleasure.”   

28. “I'm gonna bury you so deep under jail they'll have to pump down sunshine.” 

29. “When your day is as busy as mine is, it’s very difficult to do simple things. I take a moment to make a deposit to cover a check my wife has already written to somebody. And as always the case in drive-ups at a bank, the guy in front of you is passing 14 documents back and forth. You are always behind that guy. Can I just cover my wife’s check?" *gets call* "Well, I guess not.”

30. “…It’s not a bar, it’s not a strip club. That’s all extremely odd.”  

31. “The journey begins with the first step, so you take the first step.”

32. “Children don’t understand death. They don’t know that it’s final, and you can’t fix it. You can’t tell them it’s going to be okay because it’s not going to be okay.” 

33. “There’s gonna be a judgment day. And it happens to be today.” 

34. “Nothing good happens after midnight.” 

35. “I would never raise my voice because it’s more frightening to people:” *calmly* “My name is Kenda from the police department. You are under arrest for murder. If you don’t do what I say, I’m gonna kill you right here and right now.” 

36. “So, who’s the son of a bitch responsible for this?” 

37. “I can’t turn my mind off, and I certainly can’t turn off traumatic memory. You can’t. Like to, love to. You can’t. So I sleep in spurts. Hour or two then I’m up. Toss. Turn. Make my wife insane.”  

38. “There is a deep bruising of the brain tissue, resulting in fractures to various veins and arteries, resulting in goodbye.” 

39. “I wasn’t gonna stop, sleep, eat, or do anything until we have this son of a bitch.”

40. “I feel a sense of rage. And I take it as a personal mission. I am going to find you. And I am going to grab you by the throat. And 12 of your peers are gonna decide what to do with you." 

41. “Now if I was a guy who was gonna start a fire and that fire ignited, I think I’d be running as well.” 

42. “I wasn’t smarter than anybody else. I was just more stubborn.”  

43. “You’re not in here by invitation. You’re at a minimum a material witness, and maybe you’re more than that, so you need to drop the attitude and start talking to me or I’m going to make your life miserable.” 

44. "It's not a crime to act peculiar, but if you act peculiar within 500 feet of a dead body, it piques my interest."

45. "If you want someone to help you cover up a murder, you might wanna pick someone with an IQ higher than...12.” 

46. "Don't monkey with somebody else's… monkey." 

47. "We are here to talk about a homicide, not overnight parking. We aren't going to go away." 

48. "If you're gonna kill someone... make sure they're dead." 

49. "They couldn’t organize a trip to the bathroom.” 

50. "When she's really angry with me, she [his wife] calls me by my last name. And she pointed at me and said, 'Kenda, I can't wait for you to come home anymore.' Yes, ma'am. And that was the end of that. I was there on Friday and I wasn't there on Monday. No ceremony, no nothin'. Good-bye." 

Report this Content
Featured

Scarred

One of the darkest moments in my family's life.

371
Scarred
Huffington Post

I knew this day was coming when my mother’s decided to get spinal surgery. February 20, was the date her surgery was set. It was a normal day in school when I received the message of a lifetime. My oldest sibling telling me our mother’s surgery went wrong. Imagining what could possibly go wrong made my eyes water. Felt like I was the only person on my bus. Everything was silence and my mind was racing. There was never a positive thought in my head. Taking the last step off the bus and the first step onto the porch, everything was real.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Michigan Rain Vs. California Rain

Michigan rain vs. California rain (at Calvin College).

4723
Michigan Rain Vs. California Rain
ifunny

SO, I've just recently had the fortunate experience to be reminded just how Michigan rains. Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I HAVE EXPERIENCED RAIN (in regards of the the popular joke that Californians haven't). However, I have to agree; after experiencing one of Michigan's thunderstorms (with my college's sirens blaring in the background), it comes to mind just how different "rain" is between the two states:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener

Ever wanted to check out EDM music, but didn't know where to start? Look no further! Start here.

8584
21 EDM Songs for a Non-EDM Listener
www.wallpapersafari.com

If you have been following me for a long time, then you know I write about two main things: relateable articles and communication media based articles. Now, it is time for me to combine the two. For those of you that don't know, I am a radio DJ at IUP, and I DJ for a show called BPM (Beats Per Minute). It is an EDM, or electronic dance music, based show and I absolutely love it.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

26258
A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me

This one's for you, Spock.

11390
6 Things Owning A Cat Has Taught Me
Liz Abere

Owning a pet can get difficult and expensive. Sometimes, their vet bills cost hundreds of dollars just for one visit. On top of that, pets also need food, a wee wee pad for a dog, a litter box with litter for a cat, toys, and treats. Besides having to spend hundreds of dollars on them, they provide a great companion and are almost always there when you need to talk to someone. For the past six years, I have been the proud owner of my purebred Bengal cat named Spock. Although he's only seven years and four months old, he's taught me so much. Here's a few of the things that he has taught me.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments